If there's one thing Johanna Rothman knows, it's the corrosiveeffects of jealousy. At 30, the author of "Behind Closed Doors: Secrets of Great Management" was incensedwhen a coworker got a job she wanted. Later, when she took a job managing former peers, she felt their jealousy in curt, backhanded compliments.

    有一件事情是Johanna Rothman非常清楚的
，那就是嫉妒所產生的危害性。Johanna Rothman 是"關起門來：成功管理的秘密"一書的作者，在其30歲(sui)的(de)時(shi)候(hou)，一(yi)個(ge)同(tong)事(shi)得(de)到(dao)了(le)她(ta)夢(meng)寐(mei)以(yi)求(qiu)的(de)職(zhi)位(wei)
，她(ta)很(hen)憤(fen)怒(nu)。稍(shao)後(hou)，當(dang)她(ta)升(sheng)職(zhi)，開(kai)始(shi)管(guan)理(li)以(yi)前(qian)的(de)同(tong)行(xing)時(shi)
，她(ta)感(gan)到(dao)了(le)他(ta)們(men)譏(ji)諷(feng)的(de)恭(gong)維(wei)中(zhong)所(suo)包(bao)含(han)的(de)嫉(ji)妒(du)。

    "If you can admit you're jealous, you can start dealing with it," says Rothman. "If you don't, jealousy can poison your relationships."

    Rothman說："如果你肯承認自己是在嫉妒
，那麼你就可以處理好自己的嫉妒。若你沒有及時處理好你的嫉妒情緒，它會毒害你的人際關係。"

    Jealousy can also poison your career by distracting you from your job and forcing you into constant comparisons that leave you demoralized, she says.

    她還說："嫉妒也會讓你無心工作，隻專注於和別人攀比
，最後在自卑中一蹶不振，毀了你的職業生涯。"

    Want to curbyour or others' jealousy while keeping your eye on your goals? Consider these tips:

    想要在專注於自己的人生目標的同時
，化解掉自己的或別人的嫉妒
，參考下麵的小貼士吧：

    If you're jealous:

    如果是自己在嫉妒：

    1. Track your accomplishments

    記錄你的成就

    "Do a month-by-month resume" for the past year, Rothman advises. "When I did this, I saw that there was a real theme: It was all about the project and nothing about the people. It was clear I really wasn't ready to be a manager."

    "將你過去的成績按月份做出一份摘要。" Rothman建議說："當(dang)我(wo)這(zhe)樣(yang)做(zuo)的(de)時(shi)候(hou)
，我(wo)看(kan)到(dao)在(zai)過(guo)去(qu)的(de)一(yi)年(nian)裏(li)
，我(wo)做(zuo)的(de)事(shi)情(qing)都(dou)是(shi)隻(zhi)與(yu)項(xiang)目(mu)有(you)關(guan)，而(er)與(yu)人(ren)沒(mei)任(ren)何(he)關(guan)係(xi)，這(zhe)份(fen)摘(zhai)要(yao)清(qing)楚(chu)的(de)告(gao)訴(su)我(wo)
，我(wo)真(zhen)的(de)還(hai)不(bu)適(shi)合(he)當(dang)一(yi)名(ming)經(jing)理(li)。"

    2. Talk to your boss

    與你的上司談談

    Bring your monthly resume to your boss; show him your skills and ask why you didn't get the promotion, says Rothman. Be clear that you're doing this because you want the promotion or raise next time.

    將jiang你ni做zuo的de每mei月yue摘zhai要yao表biao拿na給gei你ni的de上shang司si看kan看kan，向xiang他ta展zhan示shi你ni的de才cai能neng，問wen他ta為wei什shen麼me你ni還hai沒mei得de到dao提ti升sheng。不bu過guo你ni要yao知zhi道dao，你ni這zhe樣yang做zuo是shi因yin為wei你ni想xiang獲huo得de下xia次ci的de升sheng職zhi機ji會hui。

    "My boss had no idea how productive I'd been," she recalls. "I learned to keep updating my resume and to inform my boss of what was going on regularly. In a few months, a bigger job opened up and I got it. My boss realized I was perfect for it."

    "我的上司不知道我工作多麼有效率"她回憶說："我wo後hou來lai學xue會hui了le持chi續xu更geng新xin我wo的de履lv曆li表biao

，並bing讓rang我wo上shang司si定ding期qi知zhi道dao我wo做zuo了le些xie什shen麼me事shi情qing。幾ji個ge月yue後hou，有you一yi份fen很hen重zhong要yao的de工gong作zuo，因yin為wei我wo的de上shang司si終zhong於yu認ren識shi到dao我wo才cai是shi最zui適shi合he的de人ren選xuan，所suo以yi我wo得de到dao了le這zhe個ge工gong作zuo機ji會hui。"

    3. Develop your skills

    發展你的才能

    Ask the person you envy how she learned to do what she does, and beef up your skill set. Then it's not about her anymore -- it's about developing your career.

    xiangnijiduderenxuxinqingjiao，wentamenshiruhezuodaozheyangdechengjiude，ranhoutuozhannidejineng。namejiexialaideshiqingjiuhetawuguanle，jiushinixuyaoruhetuozhanzijidezhiyejinengle。

    "It turns out my new boss was the best manager I'd ever had," says Rothman. "But if I admitted, 'Look, Johanna, you're jealous,' I wouldn't have been able to work with her."

    Rothman說："結果證明我的新上司是我遇到過的最好的經理，但是如果我承認自己是在嫉妒她的話，我就不能和她一起共事。"

    1.Save the brag-athon for after work

    不要在工作之餘炫耀

    "It's often not the closer relationships with bosses, the promotions, or the raises that create hostility," explains Tina Lewis Rowe, a career coach in Denver. "It's the way the employee with good fortune handles it."

    丹弗的職業教練Tina Lewis Rowe說："通常引起同事之間敵意的不是員工與上司的親密關係，提升或者表揚，而是有大好發展前程的員工處理這些時的方法。"

    Don't name-drop the CEO you had lunch with, mention the conference you're attending or talk excitedly about your new job or salary with less-fortunate coworkers. "Even a saint would have trouble smiling and being happy for someone in those circumstances," she says.

    她說："不bu要yao總zong是shi向xiang同tong事shi炫xuan耀yao你ni與yu執zhi行xing總zong裁cai吃chi過guo飯fan，以yi此ci來lai自zi抬tai身shen價jia

，也ye不bu要yao總zong是shi和he沒mei你ni那na麼me幸xing運yun的de同tong事shi提ti及ji你ni參can加jia過guo的de會hui議yi
，興xing奮fen的de向xiang他ta訴su說shuo你ni的de新xin工gong作zuo或huo薪xin水shui
，即ji使shi他ta是shi個ge聖sheng人ren，在zai這zhe種zhong情qing況kuang下xia他ta也ye很hen難nan笑xiao著zhe為wei你ni祝zhu賀he。"

    2.Don't apologize.

    不要道歉

    It's natural to feel humbled by a wonderful career development, but those who didn't get the raise don't want to hear how undeserving you feel, said Lewis Rowe. Chances are, they might agree.

    Lewis Rowe說，

    人ren在zai職zhi業ye發fa展zhan的de輝hui煌huang時shi期qi會hui感gan到dao受shou寵chong若ruo驚jing是shi很hen自zi然ran的de事shi情qing

，但dan是shi沒mei有you得de到dao這zhe個ge發fa展zhan機ji會hui的de人ren並bing不bu想xiang聽ting到dao你ni說shuo你ni覺jiao得de自zi己ji擔dan當dang不bu起qi這zhe個ge大da任ren。雖sui然ran他ta們men可ke能neng會hui覺jiao得de你ni確que實shi不bu配pei得de到dao這zhe樣yang的de機ji會hui。

    3.De-escalatetension.

    緩和緊張的局勢

    If you're a new manager for former peers, encourage your new staff's strengths.

    如果你剛剛升職當上了經理，要管理你以前的同事
，那麼你就要多表揚他們的優點。

    "You need to know what to do to make all the people （in your department） stars," she says. "I was always finding the most successful people and promoting them out from underneath me. That's an accomplishment that the employee and the manager can agree they did together."

    "作為一個經理，你需要知道怎麼做才能讓你所有的手下覺得他們都是明星。"她說："我總是發掘最成功的人才
，並給他們升職，讓他們超越我。這樣做可以取得經理和職員雙贏的成就。"