Here are some general pointers on how to be a more friendly, social person. A quickie definition of 'friendly' would be being nice to, and interested in, other people. I'd define 'social' as spending a fair amount of time with other people and enjoying it.

    The advice below talks about specific actions and overall dispositions （e.g., be positive about people, be interested in others） at the same time. The two are connected, but you don't have a ton of control over your disposition towards other people. If you're not in an outgoing, chatty mood at the moment, or if you're more reserved in general, that's just the way you are. You can't flip a switch and feel warm and loving towards everyone instantly. However, you can still keep some of the specific actions in mind, and they may be all you actually need. For example, if you're at work and you find you're keeping to yourself that day, you can remind yourself that you should go join your coworkers and see what they're up to.

    Also, the ideas here don't suggest that you need to turn into a phony, or a needy suck up, or an over the top caricature of a 'friendly' person. They should be thought of more as background attitudes that subtlety influence how you approach interactions with other people. A serious macho guy and a more affable, breezy type could use the same basic concepts and still maintain their own personality styles. Be fairly low key about implementing the points below.

    Start conversations with new people

    If you've recently been introduced to someone, or you see some new people around, go up to them and start a conversation. Even saying hi, asking for their name, and going, "Cool, nice meeting you. I'll see you around later hopefully" can be good.

    Chat back to people who try to talk to you

    Have you ever tried making pleasant conversation with someone you've run into, and they blew you off by giving one word responses and obviously looking like they don't want to be spoken too? You probably walked away thinking they were pretty unfriendly, even if you intellectually knew they may have had a reason for being brusque. If someone is trying to chat with you, make an effort to give them something back in return.

    Take time to talk to people you already know

    If you see someone you know, then go over and see what's going on with them. No real reason, just because. Catch up with what they've been up to lately, or just talk about whatever. Keep in touch with your friends. Stop and chat to your coworkers when they're not too busy. Maintain your relationships and show you're interested in the other people. If you see someone you know, don't avoid them because you don't feel like talking, or pretend not to notice them because you're worried the conversation will be stilted. Go up to them and chit chat for a few minutes.

    Invite people to do things with you/the group

    Be fairly loose and generous with your invitations to people. Be the one to invite people out rather than waiting for them to come to you first. Don't feel you have to know someone for a long time either. If you seem to get along with them then why not ask them to do something? If you like your new coworker or classmate, ask them if they want to grab a drink later, or come by your place to chill. If you run into a friend downtown, and neither of you is doing anything, ask if they want to grab a bite to eat, or if one of you is busy, suggest you get together later some time. Ask the new guy in your apartment if he wants to play pool down the street in an hour or so. Don't feel you have to know someone for a predesignated amount of time before you can hang out with them.

    If everyone at work is going out on Friday evening then ask anyone who may not know if they want to come along as well. If you're meeting some friends later that night, ask your new acquaintance if he wants to join you. If you run into a buddy on the street for five seconds, tell him that you're going to be a Dan's place later if he wants to drop by. Of course, when you throw invitations out like this, they won't always be accepted, but that's cool.

    Make an effort to bring new people into the fold and make them feel included

    If you're out with your longtime friends and there's a new person there, take the time to talk to them a bit, rather than being more aloof and expecting them to make the effort of getting to know you. At the end of the night mention that everyone is seeing a certain concert in the next two weeks if they want to come. If there's a new person at work, fill them in on the general goings on, and let them know everyone in your department usually grabs lunch together at 12:30. Mention that you and three other people usually play football on Thursday evenings if they want to join in.

    Go to where the people are

    If you're at work and everyone is going out for lunch then go as well. If they all eat lunch at a certain time and place, then eat lunch then too. If you're at a party and everyone is talking on the front porch, go join them. If you're at a bar and everyone is hanging around on the couches downstairs, then you may as well be there too. Show you want to spend time with the people you came with. And once you're there, join in whatever they're doing. Don't hang back and get lost in your head.

    Spend more time with people

    Spend time with people more often. Spend time with them longer. Spend time with more of them. If when you normally see your friends, you leave after a few hours, try spending all day with them. If you only see your friends once or twice a week, try seeing them three times. If you usually keep to yourself at work, and only talk to people on break, try spending time with your coworkers a little more during the workday. If you only see some acquaintances of yours under specific circumstances （e.g., in particular class, at a club）, then try to see them outside of that situation. This is all assuming the people you know would be glad to spend more time with you, but if you prefer your own company like I often do, you probably underestimate the amount of time 'regular' people like to spend with each other. It can also be an interesting experience to resist your urge to go home, spend several more hours with people past your usual tolerance, and realize you actually kind of prefer it to being home alone with not enough to do.

    Make nice little gestures towards other people

    Buy someone a drink or a shot. Offer to pay for your friend's meal if you're grabbing some snacks at a pub. Hold the door for someone. Bring food or drinks to a party when it wasn't expected that you do so. Do these things occasionally as a friendly gesture to someone you already like. Don't do it as a way to buy people's affection or make them obligated to you to return a favor at a later time. If you do these things too much you can get taken for granted, taken advantage of, look like you're trying too hard to please everyone and make them like you, and put other people in an awkward situation because they feel uncomfortable taking so many free handouts.

    Offer compliments to people

    Don't be afraid to be positive and encouraging towards other people. If someone is good at something then tell them so. If someone looks nice, or is well dressed, then say you think so. If you think someone is funny, or a cool person, then let them know. Again, moderation is the key. The occasional genuine compliment is way better than a constant stream of try-hard ones.

    Be reasonably polite

    Whatever it means to the company you find yourself with, be fairly polite to everyone. If someone does something nice, or goes out of their way for you, then thank them. Ask nicely if you're asking someone for something. Don't be an unnecessarily abrasive, self-centered, and unappreciative. You don't have to be excessive, or be stuffy and proper, but be considerate.

    Make sure everyone is having a good time when you're out

    Without overdoing it and being a pest, put some energy into making sure everyone is having fun when you're out in a group. If someone seems left out of the conversation, try to maneuver it to a topic they can contribute to. Or if someone seems like they want to say something, but they can't get a word into a lively discussion, casually indicate to everyone that they want to talk. If you're doing an activity that someone doesn't seem comfortable with, try to coax them to join in （if it's harmless and you know they'll have fun once they start）, or take some time to explain the basics to them if they aren't familiar with how to do it. If someone seems bored, or annoyed, see if you can get them to have fun somehow.

    Be interested in what other people have to say

    This is one of those easier-said-than-done dispositions. Sometimes, for whatever reason, you're not in the mood and you genuinely don't care about what certain people have to say. Still, when you are interested in other people you'll naturally be more friendly towards them. One thing I consistently find is that everyone has at least something interesting about them, it may just not be readily apparent. Like you may see a guy and assume he's pretty generic, but it turns out he was a professional table tennis player for a few years, and that he's worked as a 3D artist on some major movies. You never really know about these things.

    Genuinely like other people

    Also easier said than done, but if you have this attitude the other points will tend to flow out of it.

    Overall, having a friendly disposition or attitude is great if you have it, but you can't consistently create one on demand. You can keep certain actions in mind though to still be a more friendly person. Just inviting people out more, remembering to chat to people when you see them around, or joining groups, even if nothing changes about you deep down, are still the behaviors of a sociable person. You'll come across that way more, your social life will probably get a boost, and eventually, through a slightly convoluted process, your mind may come to follow your actions.

    下麵是如何成為友好和交際廣的人的幾點指針。對"友好"的簡單定義是"和藹的，以他人為重"的。我把"好交際"定義為與朋友度過相當一部分時間，並以此為樂趣。

    下麵的意見談論具體行動以及所帶有的總體性情（例如，待人積極，以他人為重）.它們兩者

    shiyoulianxide，nibunengyouxiaokongzhiniduitarendexingqing。ruguoninashimeiyouyigewaixiang，shantandexinqing，huozheyinidegengbaoshoudefangshi。nibukenengfanzhuankaiguanjiulikegandaoduimeigerendewennuanheaixin。danshi，ninrengrankeyimingjiyixiejutixingdong
，tamenkenengshinideshijixuyaode。liru，ruguonizaigongzuobingqiefaxianninatianliqunduju
，nigaitixingzijijiarudaotongshizhongqukankantamendouzaimangxieshenme。

    此ci外wai，這zhe裏li的de想xiang法fa並bing不bu表biao明ming你ni需xu要yao變bian成cheng一yi個ge虛xu偽wei的de，一yi個ge拍pai馬ma屁pi的de人ren
，或huo者zhe一yi個ge諷feng刺ci漫man畫hua上shang的de所suo謂wei友you好hao人ren士shi。他ta們men應ying該gai想xiang到dao更geng多duo的de作zuo為wei背bei景jing態tai度du微wei妙miao的de方fang式shi影ying響xiang你ni如ru何he與yu其qi他ta人ren互hu動dong。一yi個ge嚴yan肅su的de馬ma喬qiao家jia夥huo和he更geng和he藹ai可ke親qin，活huo潑po的de類lei型xing可ke以yi使shi用yong相xiang同tong的de基ji本ben概gai念nian，並bing仍reng然ran保bao持chi其qi自zi己ji的de個ge性xing風feng格ge。關guan於yu執zhi行xing以yi下xia幾ji點dian
，要yao相xiang當dang低di調tiao。

    開始與新的人交談

    如果你最近被介紹給某人，或者你看到周圍某個不熟悉的人，走向他們並開始交談。即使是打招呼，問他們的名字
，並說："很高興見到你

，以後的日子裏你會一切都好。

    嚐試與他人交談

    nizengjingshituhenipengdaoderenliaotianyukuai
，tamenquemanbujingxindidafu，henxianrantamenyebuxiangbeiwenjideqingkuangma
？nikenengrenweitamenbuyouhaojiuzoukaile，jishinilizhishangzhidaotamenkenenglingyouyuanyin。ruguoyourenshituyuninjiaotanshi，niyinggaijinlianggeitamenyixiedafu。

    花時間與你 已經認識的人交談

    ruguonikandaorenshideren，zoujintamenqukantamenzaizuoxieshenme。meiyouzhenzhengdeyuanyinzhishiyinggainayangzuo。kantamenzuijindoumangxieshenme
，huozhishisuibiantantan。yunindepengyoubaochilianxi。dangnidetongshibutaimangshi，tingxiashouzhongdehuoyutamenjiaotan。baochinidenaxieshejiaoguanxibingbiaoxianchuniduitarenganxingqu。ruguonikandaorenshideren，buyaoyinweibuxiangshuohuahuoyinweihaipatanhuabuziranjiazhuangmeikandaotamenerbikaitamen。zoushangqianqujiandandijiaotanjifenzhong。

    邀請其他人與你/組一起做事情

    對dui你ni邀yao請qing的de人ren要yao寬kuan鬆song和he慷kang慨kai。做zuo一yi個ge邀yao請qing他ta人ren而er不bu是shi等deng待dai別bie人ren先xian走zou向xiang你ni。也ye不bu要yao覺jiao得de你ni應ying該gai了le解jie某mou人ren很hen長chang時shi間jian。你ni似si乎hu與yu他ta們men相xiang處chu地di不bu錯cuo
，那na麼me為wei什shen麼me不bu問wen問wen他ta們men做zuo了le什shen麼me
？如ru果guo您nin喜xi歡huan新xin的de同tong事shi或huo同tong學xue， 問他們是否在喝完飲料後
，到你的住所去涼爽片刻。

    如果你在市中心遇到一個朋友，無論你在做什麼，問他們是否想吃些東西，或者你們其中一個暫時很忙，你們可以以後找時間聚一聚。 如果你的新夥伴願意在街區玩一個小時左右的水球，邀請他們到你的公寓來。不要認為你在與他們相處之前必須提前了解他們。

    如(ru)果(guo)每(mei)個(ge)人(ren)隻(zhi)是(shi)星(xing)期(qi)五(wu)晚(wan)上(shang)才(cai)出(chu)去(qu)，那(na)麼(me)問(wen)任(ren)何(he)你(ni)能(neng)不(bu)認(ren)識(shi)的(de)人(ren)是(shi)否(fou)願(yuan)意(yi)也(ye)一(yi)同(tong)前(qian)往(wang)。如(ru)果(guo)你(ni)在(zai)那(na)天(tian)晚(wan)些(xie)時(shi)候(hou)遇(yu)到(dao)了(le)某(mou)個(ge)朋(peng)友(you)，問(wen)你(ni)的(de)新(xin)夥(huo)伴(ban)是(shi)否(fou)願(yuan)意(yi)一(yi)同(tong)去(qu)。如(ru)果(guo)你(ni)在(zai)街(jie)上(shang)遇(yu)到(dao)一(yi)個(ge)好(hao)朋(peng)友(you)
，告(gao)訴(su)他(ta)們(men)你(ni)過(guo)後(hou)要(yao)去(qu)丹(dan)廣(guang)場(chang)看(kan)他(ta)們(men)是(shi)否(fou)也(ye)願(yuan)去(qu)拜(bai)訪(fang)。當(dang)然(ran)，當(dang)你(ni)發(fa)出(chu)了(le)這(zhe)樣(yang)的(de)邀(yao)請(qing)，他(ta)們(men)不(bu)會(hui)總(zong)是(shi)同(tong)意(yi)，但(dan)也(ye)會(hui)很(hen)不(bu)錯(cuo)的(de)。

    盡力把新朋友帶入你的世界，讓他們感到自己沒被遺忘。

    如(ru)果(guo)你(ni)和(he)一(yi)個(ge)交(jiao)情(qing)不(bu)錯(cuo)的(de)朋(peng)友(you)外(wai)出(chu)並(bing)且(qie)有(you)一(yi)個(ge)新(xin)朋(peng)友(you)在(zai)場(chang)，和(he)他(ta)們(men)多(duo)多(duo)交(jiao)談(tan)而(er)不(bu)是(shi)冷(leng)落(luo)他(ta)們(men)期(qi)望(wang)他(ta)們(men)試(shi)著(zhe)去(qu)了(le)解(jie)你(ni)。那(na)天(tian)晚(wan)上(shang)結(jie)束(shu)時(shi)如(ru)果(guo)他(ta)們(men)願(yuan)意(yi)將(jiang)會(hui)在(zai)兩(liang)周(zhou)後(hou)聽(ting)一(yi)場(chang)音(yin)樂(le)會(hui)。如(ru)果(guo)工(gong)作(zuo)中(zhong)有(you)了(le)新(xin)同(tong)事(shi)，讓(rang)他(ta)們(men)熟(shu)悉(xi)正(zheng)常(chang)的(de)工(gong)作(zuo)，並(bing)讓(rang)他(ta)們(men)知(zhi)道(dao)你(ni)們(men)部(bu)門(men)的(de)人(ren)通(tong)常(chang)在(zai)12:30共進午餐。也應該告訴他們您和其他三人通常在星期四晚上踢足球，看他們是否想加入。

    到人多的地方去

    如ru果guo你ni在zai工gong作zuo，而er其qi他ta人ren要yao出chu去qu吃chi飯fan，那na麼me你ni也ye應ying一yi同tong前qian去qu。如ru果guo他ta們men吃chi午wu飯fan都dou在zai一yi定ding的de時shi間jian和he地di點dian，那na麼me你ni也ye應ying該gai在zai那na裏li。如ru果guo你ni參can加jia一yi個ge聚ju會hui
，加jia入ru到dao門men廊lang的de談tan話hua中zhong去qu。如ru果guo你ni在zai酒jiu吧ba，而er其qi他ta人ren都dou在zai樓lou下xia的de沙sha發fa上shang，那na麼me你ni最zui好hao也ye去qu那na。對dui你ni的de同tong伴ban要yao表biao現xian出chu你ni願yuan意yi與yu他ta們men相xiang處chu。一yi旦dan你ni在zai場chang
，參can與yu任ren何he他ta們men的de活huo動dong。不bu要yao猶you豫yu和he迷mi茫mang。

    花更多的時間與人交往

    經jing常chang花hua時shi間jian與yu人ren交jiao往wang，花hua長chang時shi間jian與yu人ren交jiao往wang。花hua時shi間jian與yu更geng多duo的de人ren交jiao往wang。如ru果guo當dang您nin經jing常chang看kan到dao你ni的de朋peng友you

，你ni離li開kai後hou幾ji個ge小xiao時shi
，試shi圖tu整zheng天tian與yu他ta們men在zai一yi起qi。 如果你隻看到你的朋友一次或每周兩次，你要試圖將看見他們3次(ci)。如(ru)果(guo)您(nin)通(tong)常(chang)保(bao)持(chi)自(zi)己(ji)在(zai)工(gong)作(zuo)中(zhong)，隻(zhi)有(you)跟(gen)人(ren)交(jiao)談(tan)才(cai)止(zhi)，你(ni)要(yao)嚐(chang)試(shi)花(hua)時(shi)間(jian)與(yu)您(nin)的(de)同(tong)事(shi)多(duo)一(yi)點(dian)在(zai)工(gong)作(zuo)。如(ru)果(guo)你(ni)隻(zhi)在(zai)特(te)定(ding)情(qing)況(kuang)下(xia)看(kan)到(dao)一(yi)些(xie)熟(shu)人(ren)（例如，在懼樂部這樣特定的場合 ）,那na麼me嚐chang試shi在zai外wai麵mian看kan到dao他ta們men的de這zhe種zhong狀zhuang況kuang。這zhe是shi假jia設she你ni認ren識shi的de人ren將jiang很hen樂le意yi花hua更geng多duo的de時shi間jian與yu你ni在zai一yi起qi，但dan是shi如ru果guo你ni像xiang我wo一yi樣yang喜xi歡huan和he自zi己ji的de同tong伴ban在zai一yi起qi，你ni可ke能neng低di估gu了le你ni們men通tong常chang在zai一yi起qi的de的de時shi間jian。它ta也ye可ke以yi是shi一yi個ge有you趣qu的de經jing曆li抵di製zhi你ni回hui家jia的de衝chong動dong，花hua更geng多duo的de時shi間jian與yu超chao出chu你ni通tong常chang忍ren耐nai力li的de人ren在zai一yi起qi
，實shi現xian你ni通tong常chang在zai家jia參can與yu不bu夠gou的de事shi情qing。

    以好的姿態示人

    weimourenmaiyibeiyinliaohuoweishiji。tigongzhifunidepengyoudeshanshiruguonijiubaqiangzhanleyixielingshi。suishidengdaitadedaolai。dangnibingbubeiqiwangnayangzuoshi
，daizheyinliaoheshiwuqucanjiawanhui。ouerzuozhexieshiqinghuizuoweiyigeyouhaodezitaigeiniyijingxinyideren。buyaoyongzhezhongfangfayicilaigoumairendeganqing，huoshitamenbixuzaiweilaimoushigeiniyihuibao。ruguonizuozhexieshiqingtaiduonikeyirenweishilisuodangrande
，xianghuoquyidingdeliyi，haoxiangnihennanquyinghemeigerenshitamenxihuanni。yinweitamengandaobushufuyouruciduodemianfeishishe，erbatarenfangruyigegangadejingdi。

    讚美他人

    buyaohaipayijijideguwudetaiduduidaitaren。ruguoyourenshanchangmoufangmianrushigaosutamenruguoyourenkanshangqubucuo，huozheshidabandipiaoliang，niyeyingdangzantong。ruguonirenweiyourengaoxiao，huokuderen，ranhourangtamenzhidao。zaici，shidushiguanjian。bushizhenzhengdegongweifangshiyouyuyiguandechangshijiangyingde

    方法。

    適當禮貌

    wulunduinidetongbanyiweizheshenme，yaoxiangdangyoulimaodeduimeiyigeren。ruguoyourenzuolehaoshihuoshiqianrangzheni，niyaoxiangtamenbiaoshiganxie。xiangrenjiedongxishiyaoyouhao。buyaoshengyingcubao

，yiziwoweizhongxin
，bushangshitaren。buyaotaiguofen，huogubuzifeng，eryingtiliangtaren。

    當你外出時確保每個人都具有良好的時間

    做zuo事shi不bu要yao過guo度du惹re人ren討tao厭yan，當dang你ni外wai出chu時shi要yao花hua精jing力li確que保bao每mei個ge人ren都dou玩wan得de開kai心xin。如ru果guo有you人ren似si乎hu排pai除chu在zai交jiao談tan中zhong，試shi圖tu操cao縱zong它ta的de主zhu題ti使shi他ta們men可ke以yi參can與yu。或huo如ru果guo有you人ren好hao像xiang他ta們men想xiang說shuo點dian什shen麼me，但dan他ta們men不bu能neng在zai熱re烈lie的de討tao論lun中zhong插cha一yi句ju話hua。如ru果guo有you人ren不bu適shi應ying你ni正zheng參can與yu的de活huo動dong，盡jin力li勸quan他ta們men加jia入ru。如ru果guo他ta們men不bu熟shu悉xi怎zen樣yang做zuo花hua一yi些xie時shi間jian來lai向xiang他ta們men解jie釋shi一yi些xie的de基ji礎chu的de東dong西xi。如ru果guo有you人ren似si乎hu無wu聊liao，或huo懊ao惱nao
，看kan看kan你ni是shi否fou可ke以yi讓rang他ta們men玩wan得de開kai心xin。

    聽聽其他人怎麼說

    這zhe是shi說shuo比bi做zuo做zuo簡jian單dan的de行xing為wei。有you時shi，無wu論lun出chu於yu何he種zhong原yuan因yin，你ni沒mei有you心xin情qing並bing且qie一yi點dian不bu在zai乎hu某mou些xie人ren說shuo的de話hua。不bu過guo，當dang你ni有you興xing趣qu的de其qi他ta人ren
，你ni自zi然ran會hui更geng友you好hao地di對dui待dai他ta們men。一yi件jian事shi我wo一yi直zhi尋xun找zhao的de是shi

，每mei個ge人ren都dou至zhi少shao有you一yi些xie有you趣qu的de事shi，可ke能neng隻zhi是shi不bu很hen明ming顯xian。像xiang你ni可ke能neng會hui看kan到dao一yi個ge人ren
，並bing認ren為wei他ta非fei常chang一yi般ban
，但dan事shi實shi證zheng明ming他ta是shi一yi個ge多duo年nian專zhuan業ye的de乒ping乓pang球qiu選xuan手shou，並bing且qie他ta做zuo為wei三san維wei藝yi術shu家jia參can與yu過guo一yi些xie重zhong大da的de電dian影ying。你ni永yong遠yuan不bu知zhi道dao這zhe些xie事shi情qing。

    真正喜歡其他人

    又談何容易，但如果你有這種態度的其他各點往往會跟隨而來。

    總(zong)體(ti)而(er)言(yan)

，如(ru)果(guo)你(ni)有(you)一(yi)個(ge)友(you)好(hao)的(de)行(xing)為(wei)或(huo)態(tai)度(du)是(shi)偉(wei)大(da)的(de)，但(dan)你(ni)不(bu)可(ke)能(neng)當(dang)即(ji)創(chuang)造(zao)一(yi)個(ge)。你(ni)可(ke)以(yi)保(bao)持(chi)一(yi)定(ding)的(de)行(xing)動(dong)，仍(reng)然(ran)是(shi)一(yi)個(ge)更(geng)加(jia)友(you)好(hao)的(de)人(ren)。隻(zhi)是(shi)邀(yao)請(qing)更(geng)多(duo)的(de)人(ren)聊(liao)天(tian)時(shi)
，記(ji)住(zhu)你(ni)何(he)時(shi)看(kan)到(dao)他(ta)們(men)，或(huo)加(jia)入(ru)的(de)團(tuan)體(ti)
，即(ji)使(shi)沒(mei)有(you)任(ren)何(he)改(gai)變(bian)你(ni)的(de)內(nei)心(xin)深(shen)處(chu)，仍(reng)然(ran)是(shi)一(yi)種(zhong)交(jiao)際(ji)行(xing)為(wei)的(de)人(ren)。你(ni)將(jiang)遇(yu)到(dao)這(zhe)樣(yang)更(geng)多(duo)的(de)事(shi)，你(ni)的(de)社(she)會(hui)生(sheng)活(huo)中(zhong)可(ke)能(neng)會(hui)得(de)到(dao)提(ti)升(sheng)，並(bing)最(zui)終(zhong)通(tong)過(guo)一(yi)個(ge)稍(shao)微(wei)錯(cuo)綜(zong)複(fu)雜(za)的(de)過(guo)程(cheng)，您(nin)的(de)想(xiang)法(fa)可(ke)能(neng)會(hui)與(yu)你(ni)的(de)行(xing)動(dong)一(yi)致(zhi)。