Every relationship experiences some conflict. Some experience more than others, some are playful, and some are hateful. Then there are those that are never ending patterns of conflict that seem impossible to break.

If you do want to stop the cycle of conflict, consider these 10 steps to bring harmony back to your relationship. Note that this doesn't only apply to parent and girlfriends, these can apply to work conflicts as well.

1.Cool Down Time. If you've found yourself in a heated argument, the best thing you can do is walk away for a little while. Blow off some steam with a walk or by talking things out with a clear headed friend. If you just need some rest, take a nap or a meditation nap.

Before going separate ways, take a deep breath and agree to discuss the issue later. The whole goal of separating should be to come back together with a better ability to work things out.

2.Mutual Respect. No matter how divided you are in your positions, always remember the humanity of the other person. Keep in mind their weaknesses and frailties. Think about the respect you want and then give it unconditionally to the other person. Be kind even if you are angry. If that makes you cry instead of screaming, you'll probably find that yourself getting closer to the true root of the issue. When you get to the root, you can start solving things.

3.Start with Yourself. Ask yourself what part of the argument is your responsibility. How did you contribute to this argument? What can you do to resolve it? Do you need to apologize? Do you know how? This video taught me the 3 steps to a proper apology:

I'm sorry.
It was my fault.
How can I make it right again?

4.What's It All About?From your perspective, what is the argument really about? What would the other person say the argument is about? What common goals do you both share that could be used as a vehicle to reach a resolution?

5.Needs vs. Wants. Figure out what it is that you want. Then ask yourself, "what do I really need?" Go for what you need and be flexible on your wants. A need is something you can't live without and a want is more of a preference. A resolution doesn't mean you get everything you want, but hopefully you get everything that you need. If you can't get what you need then you may need to re-evaluate the relationship.

6.Compassion and Empathy. How is the other person feeling? How would it feel to be in their shoes? Be honest. What are their fears behind the anger? Focus on the good qualities in the other person and consider what their goals are.

7.Wisdom and Strengths. What are the best qualities of this person? What wisdom do they possess? Everyone is smart about something. How can you tap into that wisdom to help you move forward out of conflict? What can you learn from your partner?

8.Better to Be Happy than to Be Right. Conflict can be hurtful and damaging to a relationship when allowed to run wild. Take a step back to view the big picture. What do you really want? What is your goal?At the end of your life, how will you view this argument? What will you wish you did? How can you emerge from this conflict and return to a light and peaceful state?

9.Mutual Caring. What good things do you want for your partner? How can you help that person get what they need while you get what you need, either actively or by taking a step back?

10.Good Times Together. Often we can get into a pattern of conflict with partners and friends when we are not finding time to share fun together. So once the immediate conflict is resolved or at least semi-resolved, take some action that will have long-term benefits. Schedule in fun time together on a regular basis. A good place to start is once a week. Designate this time to be "Fun Time Only" together. No discussion of trigger topics, just fun. Enjoy!

How do you resolve conflicts? What's the best way you know to maintain harmony in a relationship? We look forward to hearing from you!

meizhongrenjiguanxidouhuiyudaoyixiemocahemaodun。mouxierenyudaodebibierengengduoyixie。youxieshikaiwanxiaoshide
，youxieshilingrentaoyande。danshiyeyouyixieshiyongwuxiuzhisihubunengjiekaidemaodunleixing。

如果你想要結束這種循環衝突，不妨考慮一下將你的人際關係帶回到融洽和諧的這10個步驟。注意，這不僅適用於你的雙親和女友
，它們也可能適用於處理工作矛盾。

1、冷leng靜jing一yi段duan時shi間jian。如ru果guo你ni發fa現xian自zi己ji處chu於yu激ji烈lie的de爭zheng辯bian之zhi中zhong，你ni最zui該gai做zuo的de事shi情qing就jiu是shi離li開kai一yi會hui兒er，通tong過guo散san步bu或huo者zhe找zhao一yi個ge頭tou腦nao清qing醒xing的de朋peng友you談tan談tan心xin，讓rang頭tou腦nao冷leng靜jing下xia來lai。如ru果guo你ni正zheng好hao需xu要yao稍shao事shi休xiu息xi，就jiu打da個ge小xiao盹dun兒er或huo者zhe瞑ming思si一yi會hui兒er。

在離開之前深深呼吸一下，並且表示同意稍後再討論這個話題。你的離開完全是為了回來後能夠更好地把問題解決。

2、huxiangzunzhong。buguannichuyushenmeweizhi
，douyaoshizhongjidebierendehaochu，jiangtamenderuodianheduanchuyazaixindi。xiangyixiangnisuoxiwangdedaodezunzhong


，ranhoujiangqiwutiaojiandishiyutaren。jishihenshengqiyeyaobiaoshichuqinqie。ruguoqingkuangshinicongsijiaozhuanweikuqi，nikenenghuifaxianzijiyuelaiyuejiejinwentidegenyuan。zainizhaogenyuanshi，nicainenggoukaishijiejuewenti。

3、先xian從cong自zi己ji身shen上shang找zhao原yuan因yin。問wen一yi下xia自zi己ji，爭zheng論lun中zhong的de哪na一yi部bu分fen是shi你ni的de責ze任ren。你ni是shi如ru何he促cu成cheng這zhe場chang爭zheng論lun的de

？你ni能neng為wei解jie決jue這zhe場chang爭zheng論lun做zuo些xie什shen麼me？你ni需xu要yao道dao歉qian嗎ma？你ni知zhi道dao怎zen麼me道dao歉qian嗎ma
？這zhe個ge影ying像xiang片pian教jiao給gei了le我wo正zheng確que道dao歉qian的de 3 步：

對不起。
是我的錯。
我怎麼能再次把它做對呢
？

4、都dou是shi為wei什shen麼me呢ne？從cong你ni看kan來lai，這zhe場chang爭zheng論lun究jiu竟jing是shi因yin為wei什shen麼me？別bie人ren會hui認ren為wei這zhe場chang爭zheng論lun是shi因yin為wei什shen麼me呢ne？你ni們men雙shuang方fang的de哪na些xie共gong同tong點dian可ke以yi用yong來lai作zuo為wei達da到dao解jie決jue問wen題ti的de契qi機ji呢ne。

5

、需要的和想要的。明確什麼是你想要的東西。然後問自己，“什麼是我真正需要的東西？” 追zhui求qiu你ni所suo需xu要yao的de東dong西xi，而er靈ling活huo取qu舍she你ni想xiang要yao的de東dong西xi。需xu要yao的de東dong西xi是shi指zhi沒mei有you它ta就jiu難nan以yi生sheng活huo的de一yi些xie東dong西xi
，而er想xiang要yao的de東dong西xi大da多duo是shi個ge人ren偏pian好hao的de東dong西xi。問wen題ti的de解jie決jue並bing不bu意yi味wei你ni得de到dao了le你ni想xiang要yao的de每mei樣yang東dong西xi

，但dan是shi可ke以yi指zhi望wang你ni得de到dao了le你ni需xu要yao的de每mei樣yang東dong西xi。如ru果guo你ni不bu能neng得de到dao你ni需xu要yao的de東dong西xi
，那na就jiu可ke能neng要yao重zhong新xin評ping價jia一yi下xia這zhe種zhong人ren際ji關guan係xi了le。

6


、tongqinghehuanweisikao。kaolvyixiabierendeganshouzenyang？zhanzaibierendeweizhishanghuishizenyangdeganjiao
？yaoshuolaoshihua。tamenyanzangzaifennubeihoudekongjujiujingshishenmene
？zheyanbierenhaodedifang
，bingqiekaolvshenmeshitamendemude？

7、智(zhi)慧(hui)和(he)力(li)量(liang)。這(zhe)個(ge)人(ren)的(de)最(zui)好(hao)的(de)品(pin)質(zhi)是(shi)什(shen)麼(me)？他(ta)們(men)擁(yong)有(you)什(shen)麼(me)樣(yang)的(de)智(zhi)慧(hui)？每(mei)個(ge)人(ren)都(dou)有(you)他(ta)所(suo)擅(shan)長(chang)的(de)方(fang)麵(mian)。怎(zen)樣(yang)才(cai)可(ke)能(neng)吸(xi)取(qu)這(zhe)些(xie)智(zhi)慧(hui)幫(bang)助(zhu)你(ni)們(men)走(zou)向(xiang)矛(mao)盾(dun)的(de)解(jie)決(jue)？你(ni)可(ke)以(yi)從(cong)你(ni)的(de)夥(huo)伴(ban)身(shen)上(shang)學(xue)到(dao)些(xie)什(shen)麼(me)？

8、快樂比做對更好。矛盾如果任其發展下去，會對人際關係造成損害和破壞。讓我們大體回顧一下吧：你ni真zhen正zheng想xiang要yao的de是shi什shen麼me？你ni的de目mu的de是shi什shen麼me？在zai生sheng命ming的de最zui後hou你ni會hui怎zen樣yang看kan待dai這zhe場chang爭zheng論lun
？你ni希xi望wang你ni當dang時shi做zuo些xie什shen麼me？你ni是shi怎zen樣yang擺bai脫tuo這zhe場chang爭zheng論lun並bing且qie回hui歸gui到dao開kai朗lang、平和的狀態的
？

9、相xiang互hu關guan心xin。你ni希xi望wang給gei你ni的de雙shuang親qin一yi些xie什shen麼me好hao東dong西xi？你ni怎zen樣yang才cai能neng幫bang助zhu那na人ren得de到dao他ta們men需xu要yao的de東dong西xi同tong時shi你ni也ye得de到dao你ni所suo需xu要yao的de東dong西xi，無wu論lun是shi積ji極ji地di或huo者zhe采cai取qu點dian回hui顧gu？

10
、gongdumeihaoshiguang。dangwomenhenshaozhaodaoshijianhepengyouhuobanmengongxianghuanleshi
，womenkenengjingchanghetamenxianrumaodunzhuangtai。suoyi，zaiyichangmaodunjiejuehuozhezhishaoshibanjiejueshicaiqudianxingdong，jiangshichangjiushouyide。yaoanpaidingqidegongtonghuanleshijian。meizhouyicishibucuodekaishi。zhidingzhegeshijiandajiayiqi“隻許娛樂”
，不討論嚴肅的題目
，隻是歡樂、享受！

你是怎樣解決矛盾的？你所知道的保持人際關係融洽和睦的最好方法是什麼？期待聽聽你的高招！