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Churchill
10. An English Comeback 英式反駁
Nancy Astor was an American socialite who married into the wealthy English family of Astor. She actually was the first woman to be elected to Parliament, which makes her humiliation all the sweeter. She was invited to 1912 a dinner party located in the Churchill estate, but, unfortunately for her, she became extremely annoyed at a drunk and politically incorrect Winston Churchill. Finally, she exclaimed the following: “Winston, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee.” Unaffected by her sudden outburst, Churchill moderately and quickly replied with a great comeback:
南茜•阿e斯si特te是shi嫁jia入ru英ying國guo阿e斯si特te家jia族zu的de美mei國guo名ming媛yuan，事shi實shi上shang她ta也ye是shi第di一yi位wei入ru選xuan國guo會hui的de女nv性xing，這zhe樣yang看kan起qi來lai雖sui然ran她ta在zai丘qiu吉ji爾er麵mian前qian丟diu臉lian了le，也ye無wu傷shang大da雅ya。1912年nian，南nan茜qian受shou邀yao到dao丘qiu吉ji爾er的de府fu邸di參can加jia晚wan宴yan，不bu過guo她ta很hen不bu幸xing，她ta對dui著zhe喝he醉zui的de丘qiu吉ji爾er，再zai想xiang到dao與yu其qi在zai政zheng治zhi上shang的de意yi見jian分fen歧qi，越yue發fa惱nao火huo，最zui後hou南nan茜qian說shuo出chu下xia麵mian這zhe句ju話hua：“溫斯頓，你要是我丈夫，我早在你的咖啡裏下毒了。”可是丘吉爾對南茜的突然爆發表現得無動於衷，他很快很平常地回了一句：
“Nancy, if you were my wife I’d drink it.”
“南茜，你要是我夫人，我肯定會喝的。”
Coolidge
9. The Best Presidential Comeback 最佳總統式反駁
The next situation involves the 30th US president, Calvin Coolidge. He was a relatively quiet man and was known for his brevity, though the few words he had made quite an impression, especially with this wonderful comeback. After an after-dinner recital, an acclaimed and heavily respected opera singer was invited to the White House. But apparently performing for the president was quite a frightening experience and her performance left much to be desired. During the performance, one of the White Houses’s guests leaned over and whispered to Coolidge: “What do you think of the singer’s execution?” Coolidge calmly replied:
下麵這個是關於美國第三十任總統卡爾文•柯ke立li芝zhi的de軼yi事shi。柯ke立li芝zhi是shi個ge相xiang當dang安an靜jing的de人ren，語yu言yan簡jian潔jie，不bu過guo雖sui然ran寥liao寥liao數shu語yu，但dan讓rang人ren印yin象xiang深shen刻ke，尤you其qi是shi下xia麵mian這zhe句ju精jing彩cai的de反fan駁bo。一yi次ci餐can後hou獨du奏zou會hui後hou，白bai宮gong邀yao請qing了le一yi位wei大da受shou歡huan迎ying德de高gao望wang重zhong的de歌ge劇ju演yan唱chang家jia來lai表biao演yan。不bu過guo對dui於yu這zhe位wei演yan唱chang家jia來lai說shuo，為wei總zong統tong表biao演yan絕jue對dui是shi次ci膽dan戰zhan心xin驚jing的de經jing曆li，所suo以yi她ta的de演yan唱chang乏fa善shan可ke陳chen。在zai演yan出chu途tu中zhong，一yi位wei白bai宮gong的de客ke人ren靠kao過guo來lai跟gen柯ke立li芝zhi悄qiao悄qiao說shuo道dao：“您覺得這位演唱家表現得怎麼樣？”柯立芝很冷靜地回答道：
“I’m all for it.”
“我完全讚成你的觀點。”
Ghandi
8. The Obvious Comeback 最明顯的反駁
Mohandas Gandhi is associated with civil rights and nonviolence, but most definitely not wit. As the following story will show you, Gandhi didn’t have to fight with his fists, but simply had to use his words. After gaining fame for a campaign to promote colonial India’s independence, Gandhi traveled to London and met with British authorities. The British were wonderfully curious about this strange little man, and Gandhi was constantly bombarded with questions from the press and photographers. One day, a reporter cried out, “What do you think of Western civilization?” And in a monumental moment that would define Gandhi’s reputation, he replied:
人們總是把莫漢達斯•甘地和公民權利、feibaoliyundongzhexielianxizaiyiqi，erjueduibuhuigenjizhiguashanggou。xiamianzhegegushigaosuni，gandibuxuyaoyongquantouzhandou，jiandandeyanyujiukeyi。youyutuixingzhimindiyindudeduliyundong，gandimingshengdazao，taquyingguolvxingshigenyingguodedangdiguanyuanjianmian。yingguorenduizhegeqiguaidexiaonanrenxiangdanghaoqi，gandipinpinshoudaolaizibaosheheshexiangshidewentidekuanghongluanzha。youciyougejizhewendao：“你對西方文明有什麼看法？“在這樣一個和他的名聲息息相關的重要時刻，甘地回答道：
“I think it would be a good idea.”
“我覺得這個想法是很好。”
Ali
7. The “Greatest” Comeback 最“偉大”的反駁
Muhammad Ali once took a flight on Eastern Airlines in the 1970s. A flight attendant was making her final checks on the passengers, but noticed Ali failed to fasten his seat belt. She kindly asked him to do so, but Ali replied quite arrogantly, “Superman don’t’ need no seat belt.” Not intimidated by the boxer’s reputation and fame, the flight attendant replied:
20世紀70年(nian)代(dai)，拳(quan)王(wang)阿(e)裏(li)曾(zeng)經(jing)搭(da)乘(cheng)過(guo)東(dong)方(fang)航(hang)空(kong)公(gong)司(si)的(de)飛(fei)機(ji)。一(yi)位(wei)空(kong)姐(jie)在(zai)對(dui)乘(cheng)客(ke)進(jin)行(xing)最(zui)後(hou)的(de)檢(jian)查(zha)時(shi)，發(fa)現(xian)阿(e)裏(li)沒(mei)有(you)係(xi)上(shang)安(an)全(quan)帶(dai)。空(kong)姐(jie)很(hen)和(he)藹(ai)地(di)提(ti)醒(xing)阿(e)裏(li)，但(dan)是(shi)我(wo)們(men)的(de)拳(quan)王(wang)態(tai)度(du)傲(ao)慢(man)地(di)回(hui)答(da)道(dao)：“超人不需要安全帶。”這位空姐完全沒有被拳王的名氣嚇到，她依然語氣和藹地回答道：
“Superman don’t need no airplane either.”
“超人也不需要坐飛機。”
Oscar
6. The Wildest and Best Comeback by Oscar Wilde王爾德最大膽最好的反駁
Oscar Wilde was widely known for his wit and intelligence in plays, but he was no stranger to it in real-life. After one performance of one of his plays, Wilde went on stage and welcomed a warm reception. Many people applauded and threw a copious amount of beautiful flora, but one unsatisfied person threw a rotten cabbage at the playwright. Wilde picked it up and replied with a straight face:
奧斯卡•王(wang)爾(er)德(de)因(yin)為(wei)在(zai)戲(xi)劇(ju)創(chuang)作(zuo)方(fang)麵(mian)的(de)機(ji)智(zhi)和(he)才(cai)華(hua)廣(guang)為(wei)人(ren)知(zhi)，不(bu)過(guo)在(zai)現(xian)實(shi)生(sheng)活(huo)中(zhong)，王(wang)爾(er)德(de)也(ye)同(tong)樣(yang)是(shi)一(yi)個(ge)機(ji)智(zhi)過(guo)人(ren)的(de)人(ren)。在(zai)一(yi)次(ci)他(ta)的(de)劇(ju)作(zuo)搬(ban)上(shang)舞(wu)台(tai)的(de)演(yan)出(chu)後(hou)，王(wang)爾(er)德(de)上(shang)台(tai)致(zhi)謝(xie)，受(shou)到(dao)了(le)大(da)家(jia)的(de)熱(re)烈(lie)歡(huan)迎(ying)。許(xu)多(duo)人(ren)鼓(gu)掌(zhang)，還(hai)把(ba)許(xu)多(duo)漂(piao)亮(liang)的(de)植(zhi)物(wu)投(tou)擲(zhi)到(dao)舞(wu)台(tai)上(shang)。不(bu)過(guo)有(you)位(wei)觀(guan)眾(zhong)似(si)乎(hu)不(bu)滿(man)意(yi)，朝(chao)劇(ju)作(zuo)家(jia)扔(reng)了(le)一(yi)顆(ke)爛(lan)白(bai)菜(cai)。王(wang)爾(er)德(de)撿(jian)起(qi)白(bai)菜(cai)，臉(lian)上(shang)沒(mei)什(shen)麼(me)表(biao)情(qing)的(de)說(shuo)道(dao)：
“Thank you my friend. Every time I smell it, I shall be reminded of you.”
“謝謝你我的朋友，每次我聞到它，我肯定會想起你。”
Beecher
5. This is America Comeback 美式反駁
Henry Ward Beecher was an abolitionist who liked to speak his mind. When the Civil War took its start, Beecher traveled throughout the US attempting to gather up support and favor for Lincoln and his Emancipation Proclamation. He said that the Union would beat the Confederates in sixty days during his travels; and when he made a trip to England, this was used against him. At that time, war was still a very sensitive topic among the British, due to the Americans winning the Revolutionary War. While he was speaking in Manchester, one hostile man cried out: “Why didn’t you whip the Confederates in sixty days, as you said you would?” He hesitated only for a second, but then replied:
亨利•沃德•比bi徹che是shi一yi位wei廢fei奴nu主zhu義yi者zhe，他ta總zong是shi想xiang要yao說shuo出chu自zi己ji的de觀guan點dian。美mei國guo內nei戰zhan剛gang剛gang開kai始shi的de時shi候hou，比bi徹che在zai美mei國guo大da陸lu四si處chu奔ben波bo，希xi望wang能neng夠gou聚ju集ji人ren們men對dui當dang時shi總zong統tong林lin肯ken和he《解放黑奴宣言》的支持和讚同情緒。他在美國的時候表示聯邦軍（北軍）會在六十天內打敗同盟軍（南軍）。等(deng)他(ta)到(dao)英(ying)國(guo)的(de)時(shi)候(hou)，英(ying)國(guo)人(ren)就(jiu)拿(na)這(zhe)句(ju)話(hua)來(lai)針(zhen)對(dui)他(ta)。在(zai)當(dang)時(shi)的(de)英(ying)國(guo)，因(yin)為(wei)美(mei)國(guo)人(ren)打(da)贏(ying)了(le)獨(du)立(li)戰(zhan)爭(zheng)，戰(zhan)爭(zheng)是(shi)個(ge)敏(min)感(gan)話(hua)題(ti)。當(dang)比(bi)徹(che)在(zai)曼(man)徹(che)斯(si)特(te)發(fa)表(biao)演(yan)說(shuo)的(de)時(shi)候(hou)，有(you)人(ren)充(chong)滿(man)敵(di)意(yi)地(di)發(fa)難(nan)道(dao)：“你說會在六十天內打敗同盟軍，怎麼到現在還未能取勝？”比徹猶豫了一秒然後回答道：
“Because we found we had Americans to fight this time, not Englishmen.”
“因為我們發現這次我們的對手是美國人，而不是英國人。”
Churchill
4. Churchill’s Honest Comeback 丘吉爾最誠實的反駁
Winston Churchill makes this list again. In his early career, he was at a meeting and another member was giving a long-winded speech. Churchill began to close his eyes and fall asleep. At the sight of this, the member became visibly angry and shouted: “Mr. Churchill, must you fall asleep while I’m speaking?” Instead of making attempts at an apology or a cover-up, Churchill simply replied:
溫斯頓•丘(qiu)吉(ji)爾(er)再(zai)次(ci)出(chu)現(xian)在(zai)我(wo)們(men)的(de)榜(bang)單(dan)中(zhong)。在(zai)他(ta)的(de)早(zao)期(qi)職(zhi)業(ye)生(sheng)涯(ya)中(zhong)，有(you)次(ci)他(ta)出(chu)席(xi)會(hui)議(yi)，有(you)人(ren)發(fa)表(biao)一(yi)篇(pian)冗(rong)長(chang)囉(luo)嗦(suo)的(de)演(yan)講(jiang)。丘(qiu)吉(ji)爾(er)就(jiu)閉(bi)上(shang)眼(yan)睛(jing)睡(shui)著(zhe)了(le)。演(yan)講(jiang)者(zhe)看(kan)到(dao)這(zhe)一(yi)幕(mu)肯(ken)定(ding)很(hen)生(sheng)氣(qi)，就(jiu)喊(han)道(dao)：“丘吉爾先生，你非要在我講話的時候睡著嗎？”丘吉爾沒有試圖道歉或掩飾一下，他隻是簡單地回答道：
“No, it’s purely voluntary.”
“不，這完全是無意識的。”
Lincoln
3. The Best Self-Effacing Comeback 最佳謙讓反駁
Abraham Lincoln was not the most attractive presidents but he was in a sense, almost fascinatingly ugly. During a debate, Lincoln was accused by his more hostile opponent of being two-faced. Lincoln managed to accomplish what few men have done before, he defended himself without insulting the other man, and even poked fun at a flaw of his all in the same sentence. Lincoln calmly turned to the crowd and said:
亞伯拉罕•linkenbushimeiguolishishangzuimirendezongtong，buguocongmouzhongyiyishanglaishuo，tachoudehenyoumeili。zaiyicibianlunzhong，duifangfayanhenshiduoduobiren，tazhizelinkenshigeliangmianpai。linkenwanchenglehenshaoyourenshixiandezhuangju，tameiyouwuruduifangjiuweizijizuolebianhu，haizaihualiduizijidequexiankaiqilewanxiao。tahenlengjingdimianduirenqunranhoushuodao：
“If I had two faces, do you think I’d be wearing this one?”
“如果我有兩張臉，你覺得為什麼我現在臉是這樣？”
Churchill
2.The Classic Comeback from the King of the Comebacks反駁帝的經典反駁
Winston Churchill makes this list again for a third time, proving him to truly be one of the world’s wittiest people. Attending a party in London, Churchill once again was drunk and intoxicated. An obviously extremely astute woman from Parliament, like Nancy Astor (the first entry), apparently was irritated by Churchill’s mannerisms. When she finally had enough, she came up to him and yelled: “Winston, you’re drunk!” He may have been drunk but that apparently didn’t affect his cognitive functions as he merely replied:
溫斯頓•丘qiu吉ji爾er第di三san次ci出chu現xian在zai我wo們men的de榜bang單dan中zhong，證zheng明ming了le他ta真zhen的de是shi世shi界jie上shang最zui機ji智zhi的de人ren之zhi一yi。一yi次ci在zai倫lun敦dun參can加jia晚wan會hui，丘qiu吉ji爾er又you一yi次ci喝he得de酩ming酊ding大da醉zui。有you一yi位wei像xiang南nan茜qian•阿斯特一樣極其聰明的國會女性，被丘吉爾的舉止無狀給激怒了。她走到丘吉爾麵前叫道：“溫斯頓，你喝多了！”丘吉爾也許是真的喝多了，但這明顯不會影響他的認知功能。因為他簡單回答道：
“You’re right Bessie, and you’re ugly. But tomorrow morning, I’ll be sober.”
“貝茜你說的對，還有，你長得真醜。不過明天早上我的酒就醒了。”
Cosgrove
1.The Might-Not-Have-Happened Comeback 不該發生的反駁
This final comeback needs no explanation nor introduction. One only needs to read the interview excerpt for him/herself to understand its greatness.
最後一個最佳反駁不需要解釋也不需要介紹，你隻要自己讀讀下麵的采訪摘要，就會明白這個反駁有多棒：
Female Interviewer: So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
女采訪者：斯格羅夫將軍，這些年輕孩子來基地參觀的時候，你準備教他們些什麼呢？
General Cosgrove: We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
斯格羅夫將軍：我們會教他們攀岩、劃艇、射箭還有射擊。
Female Interviewer: Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?
女采訪者：射擊？這會不會不太保險啊？
General Cosgrove: I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
斯格羅夫將軍：不會啊，我們會在步槍打靶場密切指導他們的。
Female Interviewer: Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
女采訪者：你不覺得教小朋友射擊是很相當危險的行為嗎？
General Cosgrove: I don’t see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
斯格羅夫將軍：不會啊，在讓他們摸搶之前，我們會教他們進行正確的步槍訓練。
Female Interviewer: But you’re equipping them to become violent killers.
女采訪者：你是在將他們訓練成殘暴的殺手。
General Cosgrove: Well, Ma’am, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?
斯格羅夫將軍：呐，女士，別人也訓練你成妓女，你現在也不是啊。
