Confidence:如何戰勝恐懼成功建立自信

發布日期：2009-09-24

核心提示：當我們沒自信時，我們會做出錯誤的決定。我們會在恐懼的前提下做出選擇，而不是以那些最好的東西為基?Ｈ綣?閎狽ψ孕牛??羈贍芑峁?煤茉愀狻?ear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. - Yoda Last

dangwomenmeizixinshi，womenhuizuochucuowudejueding。womenhuizaikongjudeqiantixiazuochuxuanze，erbushiyinaxiezuihaodedongxiweijichu。ruguoniquefazixin，shenghuokenenghuiguodehenzaogao。Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. - Yoda

Last week I did something that scared the hell out of me. I stood in front of nearly 200 financial planners and I talked to them about why financial blogs are a good thing.

I'm a confident writer. I've been doing this long enough that I know my strengths and my limitations. I've had enough feedback to understand that I'm an effective communicator - when I use the written word. I'm less confident as a speaker. I don't have time to pause to formulate my thoughts. I'm not able to edit. I'm afraid of being trapped in a corner without being able to talk my way out. Basically, I'm scared to speak.

It would be easy to simply refuse the opportunities that come my way. When somebody asks me to speak in front of a group, I could say "no". When radio and television stations call for an interview, I could say "no". But for the past two years, I've been following my own policy to say "yes" to new opportunities （so long as they don't violate my personal code of conduct）.

To say "no" is to live in fear. My goal is to continually improve myself, to become better than I am today. One way to do that is to do the things that scare me, to take them on as challenges, and to learn from them - even if I fail.

The magic of thinking big

In mid-November, a local station asked me to appear on live television. "I realize it's short notice," the producer wrote, "but we'd love to have you on the show if you're available tonight."

It's one thing to say that you want to overcome your fears, but it's another thing to actually do it. Fear is real. When I was asked to appear on live television, I was frightened. I remembered my disastrous interview with a Seattle radio station in early 2007. I thought about recent taped television interviews that I had hated. I was afraid of what might happen.

But I also thought about the things that had gone right. I thought of how my speaking skills had improved over the past year. I thought about my enthusiasm for frugality and personal finance. And then I thought of the book I was a reading, a book that I had bought for $1.29 at the local thrift store.

The Magic of Thinking Big was a huge bestseller during the 1960s. Written by Dr. David Schwartz, a professor at Georgia State University, the book contains dozens of practical hints and tips （and many anecdotes） to illustrate the power of taking risks to achieve big goals. Schwartz argues that nobody will believe in you until you believe in yourself.

So when the television producer asked if I wanted to appear on his show, I thought big. "Sure," I said. "I'll do it." I acted confident, but on the inside I was frightened. What I needed were techniques to boost my confidence and to overcome my fear.

Remember that those times when you feel that your ideas aren't good enough, or people are putting down on your ideas, or you're getting fired - that these are the same ideas that you're going to be celebrated for 30 years later. You almost have to have courage. - Francis Ford Coppola, The Godfather DVD commentary track

How to build confidence and destroy fear

Without self-confidence, we have a tendency to make poor decisions. We make choices based on fear instead of what is best for us. If you lack confidence, you might fill your life with self-destructive behavior. You might work at a job you hate. You may allow yourself to get deep in debt. You may find yourself moving from one bad relationship to another. Without confidence, you don't allow yourself to pursue your dreams.

In The Magic of Thinking Big, David Schwartz argues that all confidence isdeveloped. "No one is born with confidence," he writes. "Those people you know who radiate confidence, who have conquered worry, who are at ease everywhere and all the time, acquired their confidence, every bit of it."

Confidence is built slowly, one success at a time. I've learned that in order to overcome fear, I need to employ a variety of techniques. Here are a few that I've picked over the years, and which I've used to help myself get out of debt, and to develop the courage to speak before groups or to appear on live television:

· Don't dwell on failures. Draw from the things you've done right. My talk last week was far from perfect. But if I dwell on the things I did wrong, I'll psych myself out of future opportunities. I'll be scared to say "yes" when somebody asks me to speak. Instead, I'm trying to focus on the things I did right so that I can emphasize them in future presentations.

· Rehearse a positive outcome. Before my live television appearance, I watched clips of similar interviews on the same show. （I'm not a regular television watcher, so this was new.） I arrived at the station early, so I sat in the car, closed my eyes, and imagined the interviewer asking me questions about the subject. I imagined joking with her. I imagined it as a positive experience.

· Do not procrastinate. Procrastination promotes fear. When you're afraid, thinking is your enemy. Act. Do what you think is best, and do it quickly. The longer you take to act, the more time you have to talk yourself out of it, the longer you have to imagine the things that might go wrong. It's not enough to hope. Take action.

Here is a psychological principle that is worth reading over 25 times. Read it until it absolutely saturates you: To think confidently, act confidently. - from The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz

· To think confidently, act confidently. You've heard the phrase "fake it 'til you make it". Research has shown that faking confidence actually leads to the real thing. If you're in a situation where you're not sure what to do, act like you know what to do. Act confident and you will become confident. （Note that this isn't license to be a jerk. It's not a license to lie.） Schwartz says that we can change our attitudes by changing our physical actions. He recommends five specific behaviors: sit in front, make eye contact, walk faster, speak up （offer your opinion）, smile.

· Think like the other person. Remember that people are all the same. We each have the same fears and the same desires. Underneath, most folks are pretty nice. When you're in an uncomfortable situation, put yourself in the other person's shoes. While prepping for my talk last week, I used this technique to plan what I was going to say and how I was going to say it. I talked with a dozen financial planners to find out their concerns, and tried to address them in my talk. By doing this, I removed the fear that I wasn't addressing their interests.

· Maintain a positive mental attitude. In Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude, the authors write: "When [a person] is wrapped in the warm, secure belief that he will do well, he is actually able to do better than he knows. His defenses are relaxed; his guard down; he is able to stop spending emotional energy protecting himself from the possible hurts of failure; instead he spends his energy reaching for the probably rewards of success…Confidence has had a measurable effect on him - it has brought out the best in him."

· Get off your "but". In Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, David D. Burns offers a variety of suggestions for building confidence and destroying fear. One of these is to learn to defeat a case of the "buts". Schwartz calls this excusitis, the "disease of failures". Burns says that the best way to deal with excuses is to argue with yourself. Every time you say, "I'd like to save money, but…", come up with a rebuttal to counter the argument. Keep going, fighting every excuse you make.

· Visualize success. In Feeling Good, David Burns also encourages readers to visualize success: "A powerful self-motivation method involves making a list of the advantages of a productive action you've been avoiding because it requires more self-discipline than you've been able to muster. Such a list will train you to look at the positive consequences of doing it." For example, if you've been holding back asking for a raise, make a list of only the positive possible outcomes. Once you've made the list, fantasize about your life after receiving the raise. Focus on the positive outcome that success will bring you.

· Look sharp. A lot of us experience poor self-esteem because we don't like the way we look. But we exacerbate the problem when we dress sloppily or are not well-groomed. I'm not pointing any fingers. My friends and family can readily attest that I'm one of the worst culprits. I'm often unshaven, dressed in sweats, slouched at my desk. Why? I lack self-confidence. But when I have an important meeting, the simple act of putting on nice slacks, a dress shirt, and a tie can change my mindset entirely. Take care of yourself.

· Do the right thing. if you do the right thing, and you do it well, what do you care what other people think? Successful people will always have critics. Learn from the critics or to ignore them, but don't let them bring you down. Do the right thing, and confidently own the consequences.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. - from Dune by Frank Herbert

· Keep things in perspective. I know a woman who is paralyzed by what other people might think of her. She's always on pins and needles, waiting for some cutting remark. Even small things in innocuous conversations become huge things in her mind, rebukes for imagined transgressions. This sort of thing saps any chance at self-confidence.

· Don't seek perfection. Remember that the perfect is the enemy of the good. This is a huge problem in my own life. Somewhere along the way, I've become a perfectionist. I only want others to see me at my very best, whether it's on the blog, on television, or even on Twitter. But this perfectionism takes work, and it saps my confidence. Do you know anyone who has ever been perfect? Me neither. Do your best and let go.

· Read the success literature. Research others who have succeeded. Self-help manuals get a bum rap, and many of them deserve it. But not all of them. There are many fantastic books out there that offer advice on how to improve your life. Read them. Learn from the experience of others. （I've found 50 Success Classics to be a powerful motivator [my review].）

· Don't compare yourself to others. Be yourself. I'll tell you a secret. There are a lot of personal finance blogs out there. I don't get to read them as often as I used to, but I do try to make the rounds once every week. Sometimes when I do this, I feel like giving up. I feel like quitting. I lose confidence. "I can't write that well," I think. "I can't cover retirement investing as well as Jim did." Comparing myself to others is counter-productive. It only makes me feel inadequate. Who cares what other people write, or how well? What's important is simply producing the best work I can. All I can be is myself.

The techniques I've listed are effective, but here's the thing: No list you find on the internet is going to magically make you more confident. No list is going to grant you instant CSS skills, or give you extra money, or make you a better writer. In order for these techniques to be effective, you have toact on them. You have to pick one or two and practice them. Then move on to another pair and practice those.

It's important to put these tips into action. Do something, if only for ten minutes a day. Tell yourself that you'll move toward your goals for ten minutes a day. If you don't succeed, do it again. Keep going until you do succeed. Never give up.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face…You must do the thing you think you cannot do. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Further reading

I've barely scratched the surface of what it takes to develop self-confidence. If you, too, have struggled with this, I encourage you to borrow one of the following books from your public library. （These are the books mentioned in this article.）

· The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz

· Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns, M.D.

· How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie

· Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude by Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone

If you simply want to find more web reading related to this topic, check out the following:

· Zen Habits: Conquer the fears lurking in the dark corners of your mind

· Get Rich Slowly: The power of "yes": A simple way to get more out of life

· The Simple Dollar: Investing in yourself: Self-confidence

· Soul Shelter: The magic of thinking big

The Magic of Thinking Big - the book that inspired this post - is outstanding. It's sold millions of copies in the fifty years since it was published, and no wonder. On the surface it may seem like touchy-feely feelgood stuff, but deep down, it's built on strong psychological principles. Here's Tom Butler-Bowdon's summary of the book.

Moving forward

Tonight I will speak to a group of graduating seniors at Western Oregon University. I'll talk to them about debt and money management, and about pursuing their dreams.

When I gave this same talk last year, I was nervous. I was afraid. I was worried that I'd do poorly. Even after I'd finished, I thought it hadn't gone well, so I was surprised to learn that the group had given me high marks.

There's no guarantee that tonight's talk will be a success, of course, but I know one thing: I'm much more confident going into it than I was last year. I know that I've done this before. I know that last week I spoke before 200 financial planners. I have positive experience to draw from.

By facing my fears head-on, by taking action, I really have been able to build confidence and to destroy fear.

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. - from Walden by Henry David Thoreau

恐懼是通往黑暗的必經之路。恐懼導致憤怒，憤怒帶來仇恨，而仇恨則帶來痛苦。-Yoda

上周我做了一件令我非常害怕的事情。我站在近200個財務規劃師麵前，給他們講了理財博客為什麼很好的原因。

我(wo)是(shi)個(ge)很(hen)有(you)自(zi)信(xin)的(de)作(zuo)者(zhe)。我(wo)寫(xie)博(bo)客(ke)有(you)很(hen)長(chang)時(shi)間(jian)了(le)，所(suo)以(yi)我(wo)知(zhi)道(dao)自(zi)己(ji)的(de)長(chang)處(chu)和(he)短(duan)處(chu)。我(wo)已(yi)經(jing)從(cong)讀(du)者(zhe)那(na)裏(li)得(de)到(dao)了(le)相(xiang)當(dang)多(duo)的(de)回(hui)饋(kui)，因(yin)此(ci)也(ye)懂(dong)得(de)我(wo)是(shi)個(ge)有(you)效(xiao)率(lv)的(de)溝(gou)通(tong)者(zhe)-至少在我用文字的時候是這樣。我不太能編輯。我很擔心自己陷入某種狀況中而沒能把想法說出來。基本上我是很怕講話的。

如果我想把這種說話的機會拒之門外是很容易的一件事。有人要我在小組麵前說話，我可以說"不".電台或者電視台邀我去做訪談，我也可以說"不".然而過去的兩年裏，我一直在遵循自己的一個原則：就是對新機遇說一個"好"字。（至今他們也沒有違背我的行為準則）.

說"不"xiangdangyushenghuozaikongjuzhizhong。wodemubiaoshibuduandigaishanziji，yaobiandebijintiandewogenghao。yizhongfangshijiushizuonaxiewobuganzuodeshi，batamendangzuotiaozhan，ranhoucongtamenshenshangxuexi-甚至在我遭遇失敗的時候。

夢想的魔力

去年11月中旬，當地一家電視台叫我上一檔直播節目。"我知道這是個很短的小通告，"製作人這樣寫道，"不過我們很想讓你參加這檔節目，如果你今晚有空的話。"

shishishang，shuonixiangkefuzijidekongjushiyihuishi，danshizhenzhengquzuoqueshilingyihuishi。kongjushinamedizhenqie。dangwobeiyaoqingshangzhibojiemudeshihou，wogandaohaipa。wojide2007年在西雅圖廣播電台做的一起節目，那次節目糟透了。我想起了最近那些我很討厭的電視訪談，所以我很害怕接下來會發生什麼。

buguo，woyoujiaodeshiqingyijingzoushangzhengguile，woxiangdaozijiguoquyinianlishuohuadejiqiaoyijingyousuojinbule。woxiangdaowoduijieyueyijigerenlicaidereqing，ranhouwoyouxiangdaozhengzaidudenabenshu，shizaidangdijiuhuodianlitaodaode，zhihuale1.29美元。

The magic of thinking big是上世紀六十年代最暢銷書，由佐治亞州大學教授大衛施華茲所寫，該書包含了很多實用的技巧和建議（還有很多趣事）,解釋了達成大目標時冒險的力量。施華茲認為：隻有你自己相信自己了，其他人才會相信你。

因此，當電視台製作人問我是否想上節目時，我想到了這個大目標。"當然，"我說。"我來。"我表現得很自信，不過內心又很恐懼。我需要的是一些可以增強自信以及克服恐懼的技巧。

記住那些讓你感覺你的想法不太好的時候，或者人們會把想法強加在你身上，或是你被解雇了的時候-這些想法在三十年之後還會再次被你想起。你必須有勇氣-Francis Ford Coppola

如何建立信心，戰勝恐懼

當dang我wo們men沒mei自zi信xin時shi，我wo們men會hui做zuo出chu錯cuo誤wu的de決jue定ding。我wo們men會hui在zai恐kong懼ju的de前qian提ti下xia做zuo出chu選xuan擇ze，而er不bu是shi以yi那na些xie最zui好hao的de東dong西xi為wei基ji礎chu。如ru果guo你ni缺que乏fa自zi信xin，你ni可ke能neng會hui讓rang自zi己ji的de生sheng活huo充chong滿man各ge種zhong自zi毀hui式shi的de行xing為wei。你ni可ke能neng做zuo一yi份fen自zi己ji很hen厭yan惡e的de工gong作zuo，你ni可ke能neng讓rang自zi己ji陷xian入ru債zhai務wu之zhi中zhong無wu法fa自zi拔ba。你ni還hai可ke能neng發fa現xian自zi己ji從cong一yi段duan壞huai的de戀lian情qing頻pin繁fan地di換huan到dao另ling外wai一yi段duan糟zao糕gao的de戀lian情qing。沒mei有you自zi信xin，我wo不bu會hui讓rang自zi己ji去qu追zhui尋xun夢meng想xiang。

在the magic of thinking big一書裏，David認為所有的信心都是培養出來的。"沒有誰天生就有自信，"他寫道。"這些有自信的人會散發出自信，會戰勝憂慮，會在不同的地方，不同的時間裏泰然處之，他們在任何場合都獲得自信。"

建(jian)立(li)自(zi)信(xin)的(de)過(guo)程(cheng)很(hen)緩(huan)慢(man)，一(yi)次(ci)一(yi)點(dian)點(dian)。我(wo)知(zhi)道(dao)，要(yao)想(xiang)戰(zhan)勝(sheng)恐(kong)懼(ju)，我(wo)就(jiu)需(xu)要(yao)采(cai)取(qu)各(ge)種(zhong)不(bu)同(tong)的(de)技(ji)巧(qiao)。以(yi)下(xia)是(shi)我(wo)多(duo)年(nian)以(yi)來(lai)采(cai)用(yong)的(de)一(yi)些(xie)方(fang)法(fa)，其(qi)中(zhong)有(you)過(guo)去(qu)曾(zeng)讓(rang)我(wo)走(zou)出(chu)債(zhai)務(wu)危(wei)機(ji)的(de)方(fang)法(fa)，還(hai)有(you)讓(rang)我(wo)在(zai)上(shang)直(zhi)播(bo)電(dian)視(shi)節(jie)目(mu)時(shi)找(zhao)到(dao)自(zi)信(xin)，開(kai)口(kou)講(jiang)話(hua)的(de)方(fang)法(fa)：

1. 不(bu)要(yao)專(zhuan)注(zhu)在(zai)失(shi)敗(bai)的(de)經(jing)驗(yan)上(shang)。從(cong)你(ni)做(zuo)對(dui)的(de)事(shi)情(qing)上(shang)汲(ji)取(qu)經(jing)驗(yan)。上(shang)周(zhou)我(wo)做(zuo)的(de)訪(fang)談(tan)跟(gen)完(wan)美(mei)一(yi)詞(ci)還(hai)差(cha)很(hen)遠(yuan)。但(dan)是(shi)如(ru)果(guo)我(wo)總(zong)想(xiang)著(zhe)自(zi)己(ji)說(shuo)錯(cuo)的(de)話(hua)，我(wo)會(hui)讓(rang)自(zi)己(ji)失(shi)去(qu)將(jiang)來(lai)說(shuo)話(hua)的(de)機(ji)會(hui)。當(dang)有(you)人(ren)要(yao)我(wo)說(shuo)話(hua)時(shi)，我(wo)會(hui)害(hai)怕(pa)說(shuo)"好".相反，我會試圖把注意力放到自己做得好的地方，這樣我就會在下次當眾說話時強調這些優點了。

2. 預演好的結果。在我做直播電視節目之前，我看了這個節目類似的訪談片段。（我並不常看電視，所以感覺很新鮮。）我wo早zao早zao就jiu到dao了le台tai裏li，因yin此ci我wo坐zuo在zai車che裏li，閉bi上shang眼yan睛jing，想xiang象xiang主zhu持chi人ren問wen我wo相xiang關guan問wen題ti時shi的de情qing景jing。我wo想xiang象xiang自zi己ji和he她ta開kai著zhe玩wan笑xiao。我wo想xiang象xiang這zhe次ci訪fang談tan非fei常chang輕qing鬆song愉yu快kuai。

3. 不bu要yao拖tuo延yan時shi間jian。拖tuo延yan時shi間jian會hui造zao成cheng更geng多duo的de恐kong懼ju。當dang你ni感gan到dao害hai怕pa時shi，思si考kao會hui是shi你ni的de敵di人ren。行xing動dong。做zuo出chu你ni認ren為wei最zui好hao的de行xing動dong，而er且qie要yao快kuai。你ni越yue久jiu做zuo出chu行xing動dong，你ni從cong恐kong懼ju中zhong跳tiao出chu來lai的de時shi間jian將jiang會hui更geng長chang，而er你ni也ye會hui更geng多duo地di去qu回hui想xiang自zi己ji可ke能neng做zuo錯cuo的de地di方fang。沒mei時shi間jian做zuo祈qi禱dao了le。行xing動dong吧ba。

這是個心理學原理，值得讀上25遍。直到這句話充滿你的內心：要想充滿信心地進行思考，請先充滿信心地做出行動。--摘自the magic of thinking big.

4. 要想充滿信心地進行思考，請先充滿信心地做出行動。你一定聽說過這句話：假(jia)裝(zhuang)自(zi)信(xin)，直(zhi)到(dao)你(ni)真(zhen)的(de)變(bian)得(de)很(hen)自(zi)信(xin)。研(yan)究(jiu)表(biao)明(ming)裝(zhuang)自(zi)信(xin)確(que)實(shi)可(ke)以(yi)讓(rang)自(zi)己(ji)自(zi)信(xin)。如(ru)果(guo)你(ni)所(suo)處(chu)的(de)狀(zhuang)況(kuang)是(shi)你(ni)不(bu)確(que)定(ding)要(yao)做(zuo)什(shen)麼(me)，那(na)麼(me)你(ni)可(ke)以(yi)做(zuo)自(zi)己(ji)知(zhi)道(dao)要(yao)做(zuo)的(de)事(shi)情(qing)。充(chong)滿(man)自(zi)信(xin)地(di)行(xing)動(dong)，你(ni)就(jiu)會(hui)變(bian)得(de)充(chong)滿(man)自(zi)信(xin)。（注意這並不表示你在犯傻，也不表示你在撒謊。）施華茲說我們可以通過改變身體上的行動來改變態度。他推薦物種特別的身體動作：坐到前麵，眼神交流，走快點，開口說話（說出看法）,微笑。

5. xiangqitarenyiyangsikao。jizhu，renzaizhefangmianshiyiyangde。womenmeigerendouyouxiangtongdekongju，xiangtongdekewang。zaizhexiebiaoxiangzhixia，daduoshurendouhenhao。dangnichuzaiyigebushihenshufudeqingjingzhongshi，qingrangzijizhanzaibierendejiaoduxiangxiangwenti。shangzhouwoquzuofangtanshi，wojiuyonglezhegefangfa，jihualeyixiazijijiangshuoxieshenme，yijiruheshuodengdeng。woheshijigecaiwucehuashiliaotian，yizhaodaotamenguanzhudejiaodian，zaishitubatamenrongrudaowodetanhuazhong。tongguozhezhongzuofa，wobaituolekongju：怕自己說的讓他們不感興趣。

6. 保持一種積極的心理狀態。在通過積極的心理狀態走向成功這本書中，作者寫道：dangmougerenchongfenxiangxinziji，xinrenzijideshihou，tajiuhuizuodehao，tashijishangnengbizijirenweidegenghao。tadesixiangfangxianhenfangsong，tanengrangzijitingzhixiaohaoganqingnenglianglaibaohuzijibushoukenengfashengdecuobaideshanghai；相反，他能夠積聚起能量去獲取成功可能帶來的獎賞。自信對他產生了相當大的影響-它帶給他最大值的成功感受、

7. 扔掉你的托詞"但是".在感覺良好：全新的情緒治療這本書裏，David D.Burns給了讀者很多建議，讓他們建立自信，戰勝恐懼。其中之一就是學會戰勝各種各樣的"但是".施華茲把這個稱作托詞，也就是"導致失敗的頑疾".Burns說對付這種托詞最好的方法就是跟自己辯解。每次當你說，"我是想存錢的，可…"你都用一個反例來對付這個托詞。持續進行下去，跟你自己的每一個托詞作鬥爭。

8. 看到成功的未來。在感覺良好一書裏，David Burns還鼓勵讀者想象成功時的場景。"yizhongqiangyoulideziwojilifangshiyidingbaohanleyixilieyouchengguodexingdongdeyoushi，erzhexieyoudianzhengshiniyizhizaibimiande，yinweitaxuyaogengduodezilv，bininengzuodaodechengdudadeduo。"比bi如ru，如ru果guo你ni一yi直zhi不bu敢gan要yao求qiu加jia薪xin，你ni可ke以yi列lie出chu一yi個ge含han有you各ge種zhong積ji極ji結jie果guo的de表biao。一yi旦dan你ni列lie出chu這zhe個ge表biao格ge，想xiang象xiang一yi下xia自zi己ji加jia薪xin之zhi後hou的de生sheng活huo。一yi定ding專zhuan注zhu在zai成cheng功gong將jiang帶dai給gei你ni的de積ji極ji意yi義yi的de結jie果guo上shang。

9. 注(zhu)意(yi)穿(chuan)著(zhe)。很(hen)多(duo)人(ren)都(dou)經(jing)曆(li)過(guo)自(zi)信(xin)心(xin)不(bu)足(zu)的(de)情(qing)況(kuang)，因(yin)為(wei)我(wo)們(men)都(dou)不(bu)喜(xi)歡(huan)自(zi)己(ji)的(de)長(chang)相(xiang)外(wai)貌(mao)。不(bu)過(guo)當(dang)我(wo)們(men)穿(chuan)著(zhe)隨(sui)意(yi)，邋(la)遢(ta)的(de)時(shi)候(hou)，我(wo)們(men)把(ba)這(zhe)個(ge)問(wen)題(ti)加(jia)重(zhong)了(le)。我(wo)並(bing)不(bu)是(shi)要(yao)指(zhi)責(ze)誰(shui)。我(wo)的(de)朋(peng)友(you)和(he)家(jia)人(ren)都(dou)能(neng)證(zheng)明(ming)，我(wo)是(shi)個(ge)最(zui)壞(huai)最(zui)壞(huai)的(de)人(ren)。我(wo)常(chang)常(chang)不(bu)刮(gua)胡(hu)子(zi)，穿(chuan)著(zhe)汗(han)衫(shan)，無(wu)精(jing)打(da)采(cai)地(di)坐(zuo)在(zai)桌(zhuo)子(zi)上(shang)。為(wei)什(shen)麼(me)呢(ne)？我(wo)缺(que)乏(fa)自(zi)信(xin)，但(dan)是(shi)當(dang)我(wo)有(you)重(zhong)要(yao)會(hui)議(yi)時(shi)，我(wo)隻(zhi)要(yao)穿(chuan)上(shang)好(hao)一(yi)點(dian)的(de)寬(kuan)鬆(song)褲(ku)子(zi)，一(yi)件(jian)襯(chen)衣(yi)，一(yi)條(tiao)領(ling)帶(dai)就(jiu)可(ke)以(yi)完(wan)全(quan)改(gai)變(bian)我(wo)的(de)思(si)想(xiang)狀(zhuang)態(tai)。請(qing)你(ni)照(zhao)顧(gu)好(hao)自(zi)己(ji)。

10. 做(zuo)對(dui)的(de)事(shi)。如(ru)果(guo)你(ni)做(zuo)對(dui)的(de)事(shi)，你(ni)就(jiu)會(hui)做(zuo)好(hao)，你(ni)怎(zen)麼(me)還(hai)會(hui)關(guan)心(xin)其(qi)他(ta)人(ren)怎(zen)麼(me)看(kan)你(ni)？成(cheng)功(gong)的(de)人(ren)總(zong)會(hui)遭(zao)到(dao)人(ren)們(men)的(de)批(pi)評(ping)。從(cong)批(pi)評(ping)中(zhong)學(xue)習(xi)，或(huo)者(zhe)忽(hu)略(lve)它(ta)，但(dan)不(bu)要(yao)讓(rang)批(pi)評(ping)毀(hui)掉(diao)你(ni)。做(zuo)對(dui)的(de)事(shi)情(qing)，並(bing)且(qie)自(zi)信(xin)地(di)得(de)到(dao)結(jie)果(guo)。

我不能害怕。恐懼是思想的殺手。恐懼會帶來毀滅性的災難-xiaosi。wohuimianduikongju，wohuirangtaluguo，rangtachuanyuewo。dangkongjuchuanyuezhihou，wohuizaineixinkandaotadeguiji。kongjuxiaoshile，nameshenmedoumeiyoule。zhiyouwo，haizaizheli。--摘自Frank Herbert的Dune.

11. kanshiwudequanjing。worenshiyigenvshi，tazongshiduibierenruhekandaitagandaobuzhisuocuo。tazongshidengdaibierenshuoyixiekebojianruidehua。wuguanjinyaodeduihuazhongtanlundexiaoshizaitanalijiubianchenghendadeyijianshi，erqiemashangyanbianchengyizhongqinfan。zhexieshirangzixindeliliangjihuxiaohaodaijin。

12. buyaozhuiqiuwanmei。haijidewanmeishihaodedirenba。zheshiwoshenghuozhongdeyidawenti。buzhidaocongshenmeshihoukaishi，wobianchengleyigewanmeizhuyizhe。wozhixiangrangbierenkandaozijizuihaodeyimian，buguanshizaiboke，dianshishang，huozheshenzhishizaiTwitter上。但是這種完美主義需要費心思，而且削弱了我的信心。你認識總是表現完美的人嗎？我是沒有。請你竭盡全力，順其自然吧。

13. duyiduchenggonggushi。yanjiunaxiehuodechenggongderen。zizhushidezhinanshoudaorenmendeqianze，buguozhexiezhinanzhonghenduodouqueshiruci。zhishibingfeisuoyoudeshu。youhenduokeyitigongruhegaishanshenghuodebucuodeshuji。duyidu。congqitarendejingyanlixuexi。（我看的是五十個成功經典故事，這是個非常有效的自我激勵書籍。）

14. buyaonazijihebierenzuobijiao。zuoziji。woyaogaosuniyigemimi。wangshangyouhenduogerenlicaiboke。woxianzaimeiyiqiannayangjingchangdutamenle，buguowoqueshishiguomeizhoudouqudouyiquandezuofa。youshihouwozhemezuole，ganjiaozhendexiangfangqi。woxiangxishoubugan。meilezixin。"我沒法寫那麼好，"我想。"我沒法寫得像吉姆那麼好。"拿na自zi己ji跟gen別bie人ren比bi較jiao的de反fan效xiao果guo非fei常chang明ming顯xian。它ta讓rang我wo感gan覺jiao自zi己ji的de不bu足zu。誰shui管guan別bie人ren寫xie得de什shen麼me呢ne，或huo者zhe多duo好hao呢ne？重zhong要yao的de是shi寫xie出chu我wo能neng寫xie出chu的de最zui好hao的de文wen章zhang。我wo能neng做zuo的de就jiu是shi我wo自zi己ji。

我列在上麵的方法很有效，但請注意這一點：網(wang)上(shang)看(kan)到(dao)的(de)方(fang)法(fa)也(ye)好(hao)，技(ji)巧(qiao)也(ye)好(hao)都(dou)不(bu)會(hui)神(shen)奇(qi)地(di)讓(rang)你(ni)變(bian)得(de)更(geng)自(zi)信(xin)。沒(mei)有(you)哪(na)些(xie)方(fang)法(fa)會(hui)馬(ma)上(shang)帶(dai)給(gei)你(ni)什(shen)麼(me)技(ji)能(neng)之(zhi)類(lei)的(de)，或(huo)者(zhe)額(e)外(wai)給(gei)你(ni)一(yi)筆(bi)錢(qian)，或(huo)者(zhe)讓(rang)你(ni)成(cheng)為(wei)一(yi)個(ge)更(geng)好(hao)的(de)作(zuo)者(zhe)。要(yao)想(xiang)讓(rang)這(zhe)些(xie)方(fang)法(fa)變(bian)得(de)有(you)效(xiao)，你(ni)必(bi)須(xu)據(ju)此(ci)采(cai)取(qu)行(xing)動(dong)。你(ni)得(de)從(cong)中(zhong)挑(tiao)出(chu)一(yi)兩(liang)個(ge)實(shi)踐(jian)它(ta)。然(ran)後(hou)，再(zai)換(huan)兩(liang)外(wai)兩(liang)個(ge)再(zai)進(jin)行(xing)實(shi)踐(jian)。

把ba這zhe些xie小xiao貼tie士shi付fu諸zhu行xing動dong非fei常chang重zhong要yao。你ni得de做zuo點dian什shen麼me，即ji使shi隻zhi是shi每mei天tian十shi分fen鍾zhong。告gao訴su自zi己ji每mei天tian的de那na十shi分fen鍾zhong裏li你ni將jiang朝chao向xiang自zi己ji的de目mu標biao邁mai進jin。如ru果guo你ni沒mei有you成cheng功gong，再zai做zuo一yi次ci。保bao持chi前qian進jin的de狀zhuang態tai，直zhi到dao成cheng功gong。永yong不bu言yan放fang棄qi。

每次當你真正停下來看著自己的恐懼的時候，你都獲得了力量，勇氣，以及信心。你必須去做你認為自己做不到的事情。--Eleanor Roosevelt

• 單詞看天下：年會恐懼症 year-end party pho	• 善待自己：克服對全身按摩的恐懼
• 恐懼瘋牛病：日本暫停進口美國牛肉	• 研究：汗味能夠傳播恐懼感？
• 勇敢生活：如何征服對生活的恐懼	• 讓人恐懼的十大疾病
• 七種辦法教你克服對失敗的恐懼	• 我們內心最深的恐懼

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Confidence:如何戰勝恐懼 成功建立自信

Confidence:如何戰勝恐懼成功建立自信