Most people learn over time, but often learning comes too late to be fully useful. There are certainly many things that I know now that would have been extremely useful to me earlier in my life; things that could have saved me from many of the mistakes and hurts I suffered over the years—and most of those that I inflicted on others too.

I don’t buy the romantic notion that my life has been somehow richer or more interesting because of all the times I screwed up; nor that the mistakes were “put” there to help me learn. I made them myself—through ignorance, fear, and a dumb wish to have everyone like me—and life and work would have been less stressful and more enjoyable (and certainly more successful) without them. So here are some of the things I wish I had learned long ago. I hope they may help a few of you avoid the mistakes that I made back then.

1. Most of it doesn’t matter.So much of what I got excited about, anxious about, or wasted my time and energy on, turned out not to matter. There are only a few things that truly count for a happy life. I wish I had known to concentrate on those and ignore the rest.

2. The greatest source of misery and hatred in this world is clinging to past hurts.Look at all the terrorists and militant groups that hark back to some event long gone, or base their justification for killing on claims of some supposed historical right to a bit of land, or redress for a wrong done hundreds of years ago.

3. Waiting to do something until you can be sure of doing it exactly right means waiting for ever.One of the greatest advantages anyone can have is the willingness to make a fool of themselves publicly and often. There’s no better way to learn and develop. Heck, it’s fun too.

4.Following the latest fashion, in work or in life, is spiritual and intellectual suicide.You can be a cheap imitation of the ideal of the moment; or you can be a unique individual. The choice is yours. Religion isn’t the opiate of the masses, fashion is.

5. If people complain that you’re too fond of going your own way and aren’t fitting in, you must be on the right track.Who wants to live life as a herd animal? The guys in power don’t want you to fit in for your own sake; they want you to stop causing them problems and follow their orders. You can’t have the freedom to be yourself and meekly fit in at the same time.

6. If you make your work your life, you’re making your life into hard work. Like most people,I confused myself by looking at people like artists and musicians whose life’s “work” fills their time. That isn’t work. It’s who they are. Unless you have some overwhelming passion that also happens to allow you to earn a living doing it, always remember that work should be a means to an end: living an enjoyable life. Spend as little time on the means as possible consistent with achieving the end. Only idiots live to work.

7. The quickest and simplest way to wreck any relationship is to listen to gossip.The worst way to spend your time is spreading more. People who spread gossip are the plague-carriers of our day. Cockroaches are clean, kindly creatures in comparison.

8. Trying to please other people is largely a futile activity. Everyone will be mad at you sometime.Most of the people you deal with will dislike, disparage, belittle, or ignore what you say or do most of the time. Besides, you can never really know what others do want, so a good deal of whatever you do in that regard will go to waste. Be comforted. Those who love you will probably love you regardless, and they are the ones whose opinions are worth caring about. The rest aren’t worth five minutes of thought between them.

9. Every winner is destined to be a loser in due course.It’s great to be up on the winner’s podium. Just don’t imagine you can stay there for ever. Worst of all is being determined to do so, by any means available.

10.You can rarely, if ever, please, placate, change, or mollify an asshole.The best thing you can do is stay away from every one you encounter. Being an asshole is a contagious disease. The more time you spend around one, the more likely you are to catch it and become one too.

11. Everything takes twiceas long as you plan for and produces results about half as good as you hoped. There’s no reason to be downhearted about this. Just allow for it and move on.

12. People are oddly consistent.Liars usually tell lies. Cheaters cheat whenever it suits them. A person who confides in you has usually confided in several others first—but not got the response they wanted. A loyal friend will stay loyal under enormous amounts of thoughtless abuse.

13.However hard you try, you can’t avoid being yourself.Who else could you be? You can act and pretend, but the person acting and pretending is still you. And if you won’t accept yourself—and do the best you can with what you have—who then has any obligation to accept you?

14. When it comes to blatant lies, there are none more egregious than budget figures.Time spent agonizing over them is time wasted. Even if (miracle of miracles!) yours are honest and accurate, no one else will have been so foolish.

15. The loudest noise in the world is the sound of people whining.Don’t add to it.

隨sui著zhe時shi間jian的de流liu逝shi我wo們men一yi直zhi在zai獲huo得de新xin的de知zhi識shi
，但dan是shi這zhe些xie學xue問wen卻que往wang往wang在zai我wo們men需xu要yao它ta的de時shi候hou姍shan姍shan來lai遲chi。很hen多duo對dui我wo早zao期qi生sheng活huo應ying該gai極ji其qi有you用yong的de事shi情qing我wo卻que現xian在zai才cai知zhi道dao，它ta們men本ben可ke以yi幫bang助zhu我wo在zai那na些xie年nian裏li避bi免mian很hen多duo錯cuo誤wu跟gen傷shang害hai----大部分事情我也曾經強加於別人身上過。

wobuxiangxinshenghuohuiwugudibiandefuyueryouqingqu，nazhishilangmandewangxiang。yinweiwoyishengdouchongmandongdanghebuan。yebutongyicuowushiyijingcunzaiyumougedifanghaobangzhuwomenxuexide。naxiecuowudoushiwozijifande- ---出於無知
、害怕還有希望所有人都喜歡自己的愚蠢願望----沒有了它們我們的生活工作就會有更少的壓力更多的快樂（當然還包括成功）。下麵有幾點是我很久以前就希望自己能夠了解的。期待它們能幫助大家，即使是小部份人，能夠避免重蹈我的覆轍。

1.擁有一顆平常心。

太(tai)多(duo)我(wo)曾(zeng)經(jing)為(wei)其(qi)興(xing)奮(fen)，為(wei)其(qi)焦(jiao)慮(lv)，亦(yi)或(huo)是(shi)浪(lang)費(fei)了(le)我(wo)時(shi)間(jian)以(yi)及(ji)精(jing)力(li)的(de)事(shi)情(qing)到(dao)最(zui)後(hou)卻(que)被(bei)證(zheng)明(ming)是(shi)無(wu)關(guan)緊(jin)要(yao)的(de)。它(ta)們(men)隻(zhi)是(shi)幸(xing)福(fu)生(sheng)活(huo)裏(li)極(ji)其(qi)微(wei)小(xiao)的(de)一(yi)部(bu)分(fen)。我(wo)多(duo)麼(me)希(xi)望(wang)早(zao)點(dian)知(zhi)道(dao)這(zhe)些(xie)
，以(yi)便(bian)能(neng)把(ba)精(jing)力(li)都(dou)投(tou)入(ru)到(dao)這(zhe)些(xie)關(guan)乎(hu)幸(xing)福(fu)的(de)事(shi)，而(er)不(bu)是(shi)其(qi)他(ta)。

2.這個世界上痛苦與仇恨最大源泉是對過去的執迷。

看(kan)看(kan)那(na)些(xie)恐(kong)怖(bu)組(zu)織(zhi)和(he)激(ji)進(jin)分(fen)子(zi)，他(ta)們(men)總(zong)是(shi)抓(zhua)住(zhu)過(guo)去(qu)的(de)一(yi)些(xie)事(shi)情(qing)不(bu)放(fang)，或(huo)把(ba)一(yi)小(xiao)片(pian)土(tu)地(di)的(de)曆(li)史(shi)歸(gui)屬(shu)問(wen)題(ti)作(zuo)為(wei)他(ta)們(men)進(jin)行(xing)殺(sha)戮(lu)的(de)理(li)由(you)，更(geng)或(huo)是(shi)為(wei)了(le)修(xiu)正(zheng)幾(ji)百(bai)年(nian)前(qian)的(de)所(suo)謂(wei)的(de)曆(li)史(shi)錯(cuo)誤(wu)。

3.等待有把握時再去做一件事
，往往意味著永遠的等待。

一個人能做的最大的冒險事情

，就是樂意在公共場合經常暴露自己的愚昧。沒有什麼能比這樣學得更快。“哎呀”, 也是一種樂趣。

4.盲目追趕潮流是對精神和智力的扼殺

你可以成為一個廉價的時尚木偶，也可以成為獨一無二的你，這些都在於自己的選擇。信仰不是群眾的鴉片，流行才是。

5.如果有人抱怨你太特立獨行，恭喜你，你正走在正確的路上

誰(shui)願(yuan)意(yi)像(xiang)動(dong)物(wu)一(yi)樣(yang)活(huo)著(zhe)？那(na)些(xie)強(qiang)有(you)力(li)的(de)家(jia)夥(huo)們(men)不(bu)希(xi)望(wang)你(ni)按(an)照(zhao)自(zi)己(ji)的(de)意(yi)願(yuan)去(qu)做(zuo)，他(ta)們(men)希(xi)望(wang)你(ni)停(ting)止(zhi)給(gei)他(ta)們(men)製(zhi)造(zao)麻(ma)煩(fan)並(bing)聽(ting)從(cong)他(ta)們(men)的(de)命(ming)令(ling)。但(dan)你(ni)得(de)知(zhi)道(dao)，你(ni)無(wu)法(fa)做(zuo)到(dao)在(zai)卑(bei)躬(gong)屈(qu)膝(xi)的(de)同(tong)時(shi)又(you)能(neng)活(huo)出(chu)自(zi)我(wo)。

6.如ru果guo你ni將jiang工gong作zuo等deng同tong於yu生sheng活huo，那na麼me你ni將jiang為wei工gong作zuo而er生sheng活huo和he很hen多duo人ren一yi樣yang
，當dang看kan到dao那na些xie藝yi術shu家jia和he音yin樂le家jia的de工gong作zuo幾ji乎hu是shi全quan部bu的de生sheng活huo，我wo感gan到dao很hen困kun惑huo。其qi實shi那na不bu是shi工gong作zuo，那na是shi他ta們men的de自zi我wo。除chu非fei你ni有you無wu法fa抵di擋dang的de激ji情qing
，恰qia巧qiao也ye能neng讓rang你ni從cong中zhong得de以yi謀mou生sheng，否fou則ze請qing永yong遠yuan記ji住zhu，工gong作zuo隻zhi是shi一yi種zhong手shou段duan
，而er不bu是shi目mu的de，我wo們men的de最zui終zhong目mu的de是shi享xiang受shou生sheng活huo。在zai實shi現xian目mu的de的de同tong時shi，盡jin可ke能neng地di少shao花hua時shi間jian在zai手shou段duan上shang。隻zhi有you傻sha瓜gua才cai是shi為wei工gong作zuo而er生sheng活huo。

7.破(po)壞(huai)關(guan)係(xi)的(de)最(zui)快(kuai)最(zui)簡(jian)單(dan)的(de)方(fang)法(fa)就(jiu)是(shi)聽(ting)信(xin)謠(yao)言(yan)浪(lang)費(fei)你(ni)時(shi)間(jian)的(de)最(zui)糟(zao)糕(gao)方(fang)式(shi)是(shi)傳(chuan)播(bo)這(zhe)些(xie)謠(yao)言(yan)。傳(chuan)播(bo)流(liu)言(yan)蜚(fei)語(yu)的(de)人(ren)好(hao)比(bi)瘟(wen)疫(yi)的(de)攜(xie)帶(dai)者(zhe)，相(xiang)比(bi)之(zhi)下(xia)
，蟑(zhang)螂(lang)都(dou)比(bi)他(ta)們(men)幹(gan)淨(jing)、善良。

8.試圖取悅別人是徒勞無益的做法總有些人會對你發飆。很多你接觸的人，在很多時候也會不喜歡、貶低
、輕(qing)視(shi)或(huo)忽(hu)略(lve)你(ni)。另(ling)外(wai)
，你(ni)永(yong)遠(yuan)也(ye)不(bu)知(zhi)道(dao)別(bie)人(ren)真(zhen)正(zheng)的(de)需(xu)要(yao)，因(yin)此(ci)你(ni)為(wei)此(ci)所(suo)做(zuo)的(de)所(suo)有(you)努(nu)力(li)都(dou)會(hui)付(fu)諸(zhu)東(dong)流(liu)。放(fang)鬆(song)些(xie)吧(ba)，愛(ai)你(ni)的(de)人(ren)終(zhong)究(jiu)會(hui)包(bao)容(rong)你(ni)的(de)過(guo)失(shi)
，他(ta)們(men)才(cai)是(shi)值(zhi)得(de)我(wo)們(men)在(zai)乎(hu)的(de)人(ren)。其(qi)他(ta)那(na)些(xie)人(ren)，他(ta)們(men)甚(shen)至(zhi)都(dou)不(bu)值(zhi)得(de)花(hua)5分鍾去考慮。

9.沒有永久的勝利者踏上冠軍寶座是件好事情。但不要夢想著可以永久占據這個位置，最糟糕的是，你正決定為達此目的而不擇手段。

10.不可能取悅、平ping息xi或huo改gai造zao一yi個ge混hun蛋dan你ni能neng做zuo的de最zui好hao方fang式shi，是shi和he他ta們men敬jing而er遠yuan之zhi。變bian成cheng混hun蛋dan也ye能neng傳chuan染ran，你ni和he他ta們men呆dai的de時shi間jian越yue長chang，你ni也ye越yue有you可ke能neng染ran上shang混hun蛋dan的de習xi氣qi或huo者zhe你ni就jiu成cheng為wei混hun蛋dan。

11.努力加倍，期望減半

任何事情都是花掉你計劃的兩倍時間
，最後卻隻換來你一半的期望結果。沒什麼好為此沮喪的，（中國俗話說：事倍功半）讓它去吧
，你要繼續前行。

12.人是奇怪的偏執狂

sahuangzhezongshisahuang，pianzizongyaoxingpian。yigerenduiniqingsudeshihou，tongchangyizaiqitarendemianqianqingsuguo，zhishikenengmeiyoudedaoxiangyaohuiying。yiweizhongchengdepengyou，wulunzaoshouduodadeyuanquyijiuzhongcheng。

13.接納自己

不(bu)管(guan)你(ni)怎(zen)麼(me)努(nu)力(li)
，你(ni)都(dou)無(wu)法(fa)逃(tao)避(bi)成(cheng)為(wei)自(zi)己(ji)。除(chu)了(le)自(zi)己(ji)，你(ni)還(hai)能(neng)成(cheng)為(wei)誰(shui)呢(ne)？你(ni)可(ke)以(yi)扮(ban)演(yan)和(he)假(jia)裝(zhuang)，但(dan)進(jin)行(xing)扮(ban)演(yan)和(he)假(jia)裝(zhuang)的(de)人(ren)還(hai)是(shi)你(ni)自(zi)己(ji)。如(ru)果(guo)你(ni)都(dou)無(wu)法(fa)接(jie)納(na)自(zi)己(ji)，沒(mei)有(you)努(nu)力(li)挖(wa)掘(jue)自(zi)己(ji)已(yi)有(you)的(de)東(dong)西(xi)，那(na)麼(me)誰(shui)有(you)義(yi)務(wu)接(jie)納(na)你(ni)呢(ne)
？

14.談到公眾謊言
，沒有比預算數字更令人震驚的把時間折騰在這上麵
，是浪費時間。既使(奇跡中的奇跡!) 你是實事求是並且準確的, 其他人也不會那麼愚蠢。

15.世界上最大的噪音是人們的抱怨不要再增加了。