A couple of months ago, I asked you not to fear failure, saying that embracing failure — or at least the possibility of failure — was essential to success. But, of course, in the end the goal is to succeed, and fear of failing isn’t the only thing that keeps us from succeeding.

I speak from experience here. Six or seven years ago, I was the picture of success — a straight-A graduate student, top of my class, a job I loved, a relationship that I was happy in, the whole enchilada. And then, those successes started slipping away. Nothing obvious at first, but gradually I found myself stuck in a rut academically, my relationship dissolved, things just weren’t going my way. I wasn’t failing, per se, just losing my grip on the successes I had won.

In the last couple of years, I’ve been reassessing some aspects of my life, trying to figure out what had happened so I could rebuild. To some extent this has worked well — I have a job I love (although I need to develop it into a career, not just a job), I have a book coming out in my academic field, I’m writing quite a bit, and most importantly I have a new relationship that is going strong. To get here, I’ve had to figure out what I was doing wrong in the years in between, where I had lost my footing, and I think I’ve figured out a thing or two in doing so.

If you’re not reaching the kind of success you imagine in the areas that area important to you, one or more of the following things might well be true of you, too:

1. You don’t have a goal. A lot of time we find ourselves “spinning our wheels”, struggling through a day-to-day routine that isn’t getting us anywhere because we don’t know where we want to go. Sometimes we had goals when we set ourselves on a particular path, but we’ve changed along the way and those goals are no longer that important. Sometimes we simply did what was expected of us without ever stopping to think about what we eventually wanted to accomplish for ourselves. Whatever the case, figuring out what your goals are and, just as importantly, whether your current actions are helping to achieve them, is important.

2. You don’t have a vision. Setting goals is important but isn’t enough to drive you to the finish line; it’s important, too, to be able to imagine yourself as the achiever of your goals. How will you feel, what’s the payoff, why is it worthwhile to follow these goals and not some other ones? If goals are the end result of a journey, your vision is the fuel to get you there.

3. You don’t have a plan. If goals are your destination and a vision is your fuel, your plan is the map to get you there; without a plan, you have no idea what immediate steps to take to achieve your goals. Planning means taking stock of the resources you have, the resources you need, and the steps you have to take to put those resources into action. The world is full of people with goals they have never accomplished because they didn’t have a plan — don’t you be one of them.

4. You’re too certain. Too much certainty creates inflexibility. If you’re sure that your plan is correct, and refuse to accept the possibility of error, you may well find yourself stuck when an unexpected change comes about, or when your plan takes you in an unexpected direction. However strong your plan and however sure you are of your goals, make room for periodic reassessment.

5. You’re not certain enough. At the same time, too little certainty will paralyze you. If you refuse to take a step because you aren’t positive it will move you towards success, you won’t make any better progress than if you had no goals at all. Keep your eyes open and be willing to change, but have faith in yourself, too.

6. You don’t learn from your mistakes. A lot of people take their mistakes as signs of their unworthiness. They take setbacks as proof that they were never meant to achieve anything in the first place, and that they were stupid to even try. Mistakes are crucial to success — if we take the time to analyze them and learn from them. Even when they bar us irrevocably from attaining a goal, the lessons we learn from our mistakes help us to make new and better goals.

7. You reject outside influences. A lot of people see the influence of others as a weakness, or worse, a restriction or even “pollution” of their innate creativity. This is, in a word, hogwash. We are first and foremost social beings, none of whom has ever accomplished anything without the help of others. Welcome and accept other perspectives on your strengths and weaknesses, your successes and failures. Accept help graciously when it’s offered. This doesn’t mean you should take every piece of advice offered you, but you should listen seriously and openly and weigh carefully the input of others. And learn from their mistakes, when you can.

8. You worry about being copied. Often we close ourselves off from other people not because we’re afraid that they will influence us but that we will influence them, that our brilliant ideas will be taken up by someone else and no longer be solely ours. So we avoid sharing our passions, and spend our energy jealously guarding our “secret” rather than simply moving forward. In the end, we turn our passions into burdens that become difficult to carry instead of a joy.

9. You use up your reserves. When I’ve found myself at my lowest points, it’s always been for lack of a reserve — whether of money, of time, or most crucially of energy. In part this was the fault of inadequate planning and over-certainty — I should have reassessed my situation more realistically before exhausting my resources — but whatever the cause, it’s a dangerous place to be. A mistake that could be easily recovered from under normal circumstances becomes overwhelming when you’re too broke or too exhausted to respond adequately. Keep track of where you are financially, materially, and emotionally before you find yourself too worn down to continue.

10. You fear success. Forget fear of failure, it’s fear of success that kicks us the hardest. It’s the darnedest thing, too — the kind of thing that you don’t imagine possible, until one day you realize that you really don’t know what to do with yourself if you ever accomplish your goals. On the other side of success is the unknown, and believe it or not, the unknown is often scarier than the known world of struggle and unfulfillment this side of success. When I realized this, one night as I drifted unhappily to sleep, it jerked me straight up in my bed!

My father, an avid collector of seemingly random quotes, is fond of saying that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. (I’ve never had the heart to ask him why he keeps saying this….) At some point, you have to stop doing whatever you’re doing and figure out why you’re doing it, especially if it doesn’t seem to be getting you where you want to be. When you do, I think you’ll find that at least one of the above applies to you. Whatever your reasons, though, the important thing is to realize that it’s in your nature neither to be a failure, nor to be a success, that success is something we make rather than something that happens to us — and when you realize that, you can start to make the changes that move you from “insanity” to success.

幾個月前


，我讓你《不要害怕失敗》，告訴你要擁抱失敗——或者至少擁抱失敗的可能性——對成功來說，這是必要的。但是，當然了
，我們最終的目標是要取得成功，而害怕失敗也不是阻止我們成功的唯一障礙。

現在我來說說自己的經曆。大概六七年前，我是很成功的——我是全優畢業生，班裏的第一名，有一份自己喜歡的工作
，有一段令人愉悅的愛情，就是一整個安琪拉達（意指很幸福）。然ran後hou，情qing況kuang開kai始shi下xia滑hua。最zui初chu一yi切qie並bing不bu明ming顯xian

，但dan我wo漸jian漸jian發fa現xian自zi己ji在zai學xue術shu上shang停ting滯zhi不bu前qian，我wo的de親qin密mi關guan係xi破po裂lie，所suo有you的de事shi情qing都dou不bu由you我wo掌zhang控kong。就jiu其qi本ben身shen而er言yan，我wo並bing不bu是shi失shi敗bai，隻zhi是shi在zai已yi擁yong有you的de成cheng功gong上shang失shi去qu了le掌zhang控kong權quan。

此後的幾年


，我一直在反思自己生活的方方麵麵
，試著找出哪裏出了問題，好讓自己能重新來過。從某種程度上來說
，它很有效——我擁有一份自己喜歡的工作（雖然我得把它發展成為一個職業，而不僅僅是一份工作），wojijiangchubanyibenzijixueshulingyudeshu，yijingxielebushaole，zuizhongyaodeshiwoyouleyifenquxiangwendingdeganqing。shuodaozhe
，wodezhichuzijizainaliangduanshijianzhongzuocuodeshi
，nashiwoshiqulechenggongdiwei
，woxiangwoyijingtidaoguoleqizhongdeyijianle。

如果你還沒有在你認為重要的領域中取得成功，那麼你至少符合下麵的一種情況：

*你沒有一個目標。很多時候
，我們發現自己“轉動輪子”，zhongriheshijiansaipao，quemeiyouqudaorenhedifang，zheshiyinweiwomenbuzhidaozijixiangquna。youshihou
，womenyijingzaiqianjindedaolushangshelilezijidemubiao，danyidanwomengaibianlezijidefangxiang，naxiemubiaojiubuzaizhongyaole。youshihou，womenzhishijiandandiquzuonaxiezirenweikewangdeshi，quemeiyoutingxialaikaolvzijizhenzhengxiangyaodeshishenme。bulunzainazhongqingkuangxia

，yebulunnixianzaidexingdongduishixianmubiaoshifouqizuoyong
，zhichunidemubiaoshihenzhongyaode。

*你ni沒mei有you一yi個ge遠yuan景jing。設she定ding目mu標biao是shi很hen重zhong要yao，但dan這zhe還hai不bu足zu以yi使shi你ni去qu達da到dao它ta。設she想xiang你ni已yi經jing在zai目mu標biao上shang取qu得de成cheng功gong同tong樣yang重zhong要yao。你ni的de感gan覺jiao怎zen麼me樣yang？回hui報bao是shi什shen麼me？為wei什shen麼me值zhi得de跟gen隨sui這zhe些xie目mu標biao而er不bu是shi其qi它ta的de？如ru果guo目mu標biao是shi一yi場chang旅lv行xing的de最zui終zhong結jie果guo，你ni的de遠yuan景jing就jiu是shi讓rang你ni達da到dao那na的de燃ran料liao。

*你ni沒mei有you一yi個ge計ji劃hua。如ru果guo目mu標biao是shi你ni的de終zhong點dian，遠yuan景jing是shi你ni的de燃ran料liao，你ni的de計ji劃hua就jiu是shi讓rang你ni到dao那na的de地di圖tu。沒mei有you計ji劃hua
，你ni就jiu不bu知zhi道dao眼yan下xia要yao做zuo什shen麼me去qu達da到dao你ni的de目mu標biao。計ji劃hua意yi味wei著zhe儲chu存cun你ni所suo擁yong有you的de和he所suo需xu要yao的de資zi源yuan，以yi及ji那na些xie把ba這zhe些xie資zi源yuan轉zhuan化hua為wei行xing動dong的de步bu驟zhou。這zhe個ge世shi上shang有you太tai多duo有you目mu標biao卻que從cong未wei實shi現xian的de人ren，是shi因yin為wei他ta們men不bu曾zeng有you一yi個ge計ji劃hua——別讓你自己成為他們中的一員。

*你(ni)太(tai)固(gu)執(zhi)。太(tai)多(duo)的(de)肯(ken)定(ding)會(hui)造(zao)成(cheng)僵(jiang)化(hua)。如(ru)果(guo)你(ni)肯(ken)定(ding)你(ni)的(de)計(ji)劃(hua)是(shi)正(zheng)確(que)的(de)
，並(bing)且(qie)拒(ju)絕(jue)接(jie)受(shou)錯(cuo)誤(wu)的(de)可(ke)能(neng)性(xing)

，當(dang)預(yu)期(qi)以(yi)外(wai)的(de)情(qing)況(kuang)發(fa)生(sheng)時(shi)，或(huo)當(dang)你(ni)的(de)計(ji)劃(hua)把(ba)你(ni)帶(dai)到(dao)一(yi)個(ge)你(ni)不(bu)期(qi)望(wang)的(de)方(fang)向(xiang)時(shi)
，你(ni)會(hui)發(fa)現(xian)自(zi)己(ji)陷(xian)入(ru)了(le)困(kun)境(jing)。不(bu)論(lun)你(ni)的(de)計(ji)劃(hua)多(duo)麼(me)強(qiang)，也(ye)不(bu)論(lun)你(ni)對(dui)自(zi)己(ji)的(de)目(mu)標(biao)有(you)多(duo)肯(ken)定(ding)，都(dou)要(yao)為(wei)重(zhong)新(xin)考(kao)慮(lv)預(yu)留(liu)餘(yu)地(di)。

*你(ni)不(bu)夠(gou)肯(ken)定(ding)。同(tong)樣(yang)的(de)，太(tai)少(shao)肯(ken)定(ding)會(hui)讓(rang)你(ni)氣(qi)餒(nei)。如(ru)果(guo)你(ni)因(yin)為(wei)不(bu)確(que)定(ding)是(shi)否(fou)能(neng)成(cheng)功(gong)就(jiu)拒(ju)絕(jue)向(xiang)前(qian)邁(mai)一(yi)步(bu)，那(na)你(ni)就(jiu)不(bu)會(hui)比(bi)完(wan)全(quan)沒(mei)有(you)目(mu)標(biao)更(geng)有(you)進(jin)展(zhan)。保(bao)持(chi)你(ni)的(de)雙(shuang)眼(yan)睜(zheng)開(kai)
，並(bing)且(qie)願(yuan)意(yi)改(gai)變(bian)，但(dan)同(tong)時(shi)也(ye)要(yao)對(dui)自(zi)己(ji)有(you)信(xin)心(xin)。

*你ni沒mei有you從cong錯cuo誤wu中zhong吸xi取qu教jiao訓xun。許xu多duo人ren都dou認ren為wei錯cuo誤wu是shi毫hao無wu價jia值zhi的de跡ji象xiang。他ta們men用yong挫cuo折zhe證zheng明ming自zi己ji一yi開kai始shi就jiu不bu打da算suan取qu得de成cheng功gong，同tong時shi也ye證zheng明ming他ta們men愚yu蠢chun到dao要yao去qu嚐chang試shi。錯cuo誤wu是shi成cheng功gong的de關guan鍵jian——如(ru)果(guo)我(wo)們(men)花(hua)些(xie)時(shi)間(jian)去(qu)分(fen)析(xi)它(ta)們(men)並(bing)從(cong)中(zhong)學(xue)習(xi)的(de)話(hua)。即(ji)便(bian)當(dang)錯(cuo)誤(wu)不(bu)可(ke)避(bi)免(mian)地(di)禁(jin)止(zhi)我(wo)們(men)達(da)到(dao)目(mu)標(biao)
，我(wo)們(men)從(cong)錯(cuo)誤(wu)中(zhong)吸(xi)取(qu)的(de)教(jiao)訓(xun)也(ye)能(neng)幫(bang)助(zhu)我(wo)們(men)設(she)定(ding)一(yi)個(ge)新(xin)的(de)更(geng)好(hao)的(de)目(mu)標(biao)。

*你拒絕外部的影響。許多人把其他人的影響看作是一個弱點，一種錯誤，一種限製，甚至是一種對他們與生具來的創造力的一種“汙染”。zongzhijiushiyipaihuyan。womenshouxianshishehuiren，meiyouyigerenkeyiwanquanbuyaotarendebangzhujiunenghuodechenggong。huanyingbingjieshoutarenduiniyouquedianhechenggongshibaidepingshu。youyadijieshoutarendebangzhu。zhebingbudaibiaoniyaojieshousuoyoudejianyi，danshiniyaorenzhenergongkaidiqingting
，bingzaixizhenzhuo。keyidehua，congtarendecuowuzhongxuexi。

*你ni擔dan心xin被bei複fu製zhi。經jing常chang
，我wo們men會hui讓rang自zi己ji和he他ta人ren保bao持chi距ju離li，並bing不bu是shi因yin為wei擔dan心xin他ta人ren會hui影ying響xiang自zi己ji
，而er是shi擔dan心xin自zi己ji會hui影ying響xiang他ta人ren。我wo們men害hai怕pa自zi己ji出chu色se的de點dian子zi被bei他ta人ren占zhan有you，不bu再zai僅jin僅jin屬shu於yu我wo們men。因yin此ci，我wo們men避bi免mian分fen享xiang自zi己ji的de激ji情qing
，並bing且qie花hua精jing力li謹jin慎shen地di保bao守shou我wo們men的de“秘密”，而不是簡單地往前走。最後

，我們把自己的激情變成一種很難被歡樂所代替的負擔。

*你耗盡了儲備。當我發現自己處在最低穀時，這總表示缺乏儲備——無論是金錢還是時間，或者是最關鍵的能源。在某種程度上來說，這是計劃不足和過度肯定的後果。——在耗盡我的儲備以前，我要對現狀重新做一次更實際的評估。——無wu論lun如ru何he，這zhe都dou是shi危wei險xian的de情qing況kuang。一yi個ge在zai正zheng常chang情qing況kuang下xia可ke以yi很hen容rong易yi被bei糾jiu正zheng的de錯cuo誤wu會hui在zai你ni精jing疲pi力li盡jin不bu能neng對dui它ta作zuo出chu適shi當dang反fan應ying的de時shi候hou變bian得de勢shi不bu可ke擋dang。在zai你ni覺jiao得de情qing況kuang太tai壞huai而er不bu能neng繼ji續xu以yi前qian，要yao在zai財cai務wu上shang、物質上和情感上保持跟蹤。

*你ni害hai怕pa成cheng功gong。忘wang記ji對dui失shi敗bai的de恐kong懼ju之zhi後hou，對dui成cheng功gong的de恐kong懼ju最zui使shi我wo們men受shou傷shang。這zhe也ye是shi件jian最zui可ke恨hen的de事shi。你ni不bu太tai可ke能neng會hui想xiang到dao這zhe類lei事shi，直zhi到dao有you一yi天tian
，你ni真zhen正zheng意yi識shi到dao，如ru果guo你ni達da到dao了le所suo有you設she立li的de目mu標biao，你ni將jiang無wu事shi可ke做zuo。成cheng功gong的de另ling一yi麵mian是shi未wei知zhi，不bu管guan你ni相xiang信xin與yu否fou，未wei知zhi都dou比bi現xian實shi世shi界jie中zhong的de鬥dou爭zheng和he未wei達da到dao成cheng功gong更geng可ke怕pa。一yi天tian晚wan上shang，當dang我wo不bu開kai心xin地di漸jian漸jian入ru睡shui時shi，一yi想xiang到dao這zhe些xie，我wo就jiu猛meng地di從cong床chuang上shang坐zuo了le起qi來lai！

我的父親，喜歡收集一些看似隨機的格言。他喜歡說的一句話就是，瘋狂就是總是重複相同的事卻期望有不同的結果。（我從沒有用心問過他為什麼老是這麼說……）mougeshihou
，nidetingxiarenhenizaizuodeshi，xiangyixiangniweishenmeyaozheyangzuo，tebieshizainizuodeshibingmeiyourangnidadaomubiaodeshihou。yidannizheyangzuole，woxiangnijianghuizhaochuzhishaoyitiaoshangmianshuodeqingkuangyunixiangfu。bulunnideliyoushishenme

，zuizhongyaodeshiniyaomingbai，nidebenzhibingbushiyaochengweiyigeshibaizhehuochenggongzhe，chenggongshiyaozhengqude
，tabuhuizidongfashengzaiwomenshenshang。yidanniyishidaozhexie，nijiunengkaishizuochugaibian

，zhejianghuicushinicong“愚蠢”走向成功。